In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...
And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.
What sort of music did cave men listen to?
It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband the following text...
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!!!” The husband, being a non-romantic sort, replied... “I am on the toilet. Please advise.”
What sorts of footwear do bakers wear?
Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.
[OC] You're a star... of sorts
My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance
For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire
What sort of animal wears sunglasses?
What sort of bees make milk?
If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?
What sort of stereo equipment does Black Panther use?
There must be a typo in the "sort by" options.
I chose "new" but they're all reposts... should be "knew" instead
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledore’s been in some sort of accident!
Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?
Ron: No. it was Snape.
My friend asked me to sort his hair out for a reggae themed party
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
For those who sort by new
hi people who sort by new, how is it there?
Found on a funny train sort of post (will link in comments)
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
I just stumbled on this subreddit, and I'd like explain why (from an outsider's perspective) this sort of thing is not my cup of tea.
It's because this is my cup of tea.
What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?
What people who sort by new are
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"
The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.
They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.
[sort of re-post] Does anyone know how to charge milk...
Mine is stuck on 1%
I write dad jokes on the white board in my office break room. Yesterday I wrote this gem up, and got some interesting responses I thought you all might enjoy... (They had to be from a dad.)
• try 2%... Twice the charge, not much more expensive
• does whole milk come with a full charge?
• does that mean skim milk's batteries are dead?
• try cream top extra charged
So, I’m sort of obsessed with the moon
I guess you could say I’m a lunatic
What sort of money do need if you want to start your own landscaping business?
I always sort by 'new'
Because if I sorted by 'old' I would just see sad pictures of me and my friends.
What sort of flowers grow on your face?
What sort of gate is hygienic?
What sort of owl can you find in a kitchen?
What’s brown and sort of sounds like a bell?
What sort of nuts get a lot of criticism?
On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"
He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"
Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?
Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day
What sort of shoes do gypsies wear?
Vegetables are boring in general, but some are sort of cool.
I guess you could called them rad-ish.
I wanted to sketch some sort of ammunition...
Sort of an edited repost?
Elmer Fudd is sitting around one day and realized he's not all that good at hunting, might as well take up a new hobby.
Obviously he turns to magic/slight of hand.
After a few months of practicing, his arms are COVERED in chocolate. Bugs comes up and asks him, "Say doc, what's with all the chocolate?"
To which Elmer replies, "You know what they say, a good magician ALWAYS has a few Twix up his sweeves."
If you fondle a mouse, what sort of mouse is it?
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