My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge
But I just canโt quit cold turkey
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
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︎ Jan 12 2021
If you download something illegally on a samsung smart fridge
Is that copyright infridgement?
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Cleaning out my fridge when...
I came across two containers of butter. I guess you could say it was a second-dairy
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I am a proud dad today - my son ask me what this Indian bread on top of the fridge is for
I told him itโs Naan of his business
Edit: he could have replied โpapa dumbโ
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
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︎ Oct 21 2020
I overcame my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers directly out of the fridge.
I didn't use the 12 steps, I quit cold turkey.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
For my wife's birthday I bought her a beautiful fridge freezer....
I know it isn't much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying "this isn't working, bye"
I opened it up and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Don't buy any kind of fungi. They take up too mushroom.
๐︎ 231
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︎ Aug 04 2020
My fridge stopped working...
๐︎ 14
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, โItโs not working. I canโt take it any more. Iโm going to my momโs.โ
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
๐︎ 110
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
๐︎ 11
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I'm going to buy my son a fridge for Christmas...
I can't wait to see his little face light up when he opens the door!
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︎ Sep 14 2020
It's amazing..to use the fridge at my work, you don't even need an appointment!
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︎ Sep 21 2020
One of my kids ate a magnetic number off the fridge; it was the one between 1 and 3.
The doc said they would be ok โThis two shall pass.โ
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Why donโt we ever have olives in our fridge?
Because I always eat olive them
๐︎ 16
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I put a new shelf towards the top of my fridge
The steaks have never been higher
๐︎ 6
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My dad told me to look in the fridge and check out the milk that went bad
๐︎ 2
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︎ Jul 21 2020
I found one hard boiled egg in the fridge
It was the last one in the container. I took one bite and spit it out - no idea how long it had been there but clearly it had been too long.
"Rotten egg?" my husband asks. I agree. He says "Makes sense, it was the last one there."
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
๐︎ 5k
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︎ Feb 25 2019
I used to hate the lockdown in the beginning, but now that I have a full fridge, I am ok with it.
Scientists are calling it the Stock Home syndrome.
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︎ May 31 2020
You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing
๐︎ 35
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case thereโs a salad dressing
๐︎ 15k
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︎ Aug 29 2020
I always knock on the fridge before I open the door...
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
I'll see myself out....
๐︎ 63
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︎ Dec 04 2020
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
๐︎ 7
๐
︎ Dec 06 2020
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there's a salad dressing
๐︎ 211
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︎ Sep 19 2020
I used to be addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the fridge
But then I quit cold turkey.
๐︎ 6
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Why should you always knock on the fridge before opening it?
There could be a salad dressing.
๐︎ 11
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︎ Sep 14 2020
For my wife's birthday I bought her the fancy new fridge that she wanted.
You should have seen her face light up when she opened it
๐︎ 9
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I always knock when I open the fridge
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
๐︎ 156
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︎ Jul 23 2020
I Always Knock On The Fridge Door Before Opening It...
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
๐︎ 96
๐
︎ Jul 18 2020
I always knock on the fridge before opening it
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
๐︎ 16
๐
︎ Sep 16 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
๐︎ 29
๐
︎ Sep 08 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it...
there might be a salad dressing.
๐︎ 19
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I always knock before opening the fridge
Just in case there is a salad dressing
๐︎ 26
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.
Can't wait to see his face light up,
when he opens it.
๐︎ 7k
๐
︎ Dec 24 2019
I always knock on the fridge before I open it
Just in case thereโs a salad dressing
๐︎ 9k
๐
︎ Nov 26 2019
I always knock on the fridge before opening it
Just in case thereโs a salad dressing
๐︎ 33
๐
︎ Jul 15 2020
I always knock on my fridge before opening the door
Just in case there's a salad dressing
๐︎ 22
๐
︎ Jun 26 2020
Why do you always know ask on the fridge before opening it?
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
๐︎ 6
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︎ Jun 23 2020
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
๐︎ 10
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︎ Jul 17 2020
I just bought a fridge...
๐︎ 8
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︎ Jun 27 2020
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