My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far

I'm quitting cold turkey

πŸ‘︎ 599
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hugh_McMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a refrigerated grilled cheese?

Chilled grease!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce commence on the refrigerator puns!
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slightly_lisdexic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

I was hoping to vote for it.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurtP31477
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 446
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?

They were there before it was cool.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/facepalminghomer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it

Cuz there might be a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

Close the door, I’m dressing!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey, is your refrigerator running?

Good. I'd vote for it over Trump or Biden any day.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

Because at this point I’d vote for anyone other than who currently is...

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KawhiTheKing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
what did the dude say when they invented refrigeration?

Well that's pretty cool!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelicasies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Refrigerators look kinda boring

But actually they're pretty cool

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the plate say to the refrigerator?

"Stay cool. Dinner's on me"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator

I told him of course not - I ate them in the living room

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator

It's not cool man

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl blush when she opened the refrigerator?

She saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aplay1
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Thousand Island say to the refrigerator?

Hey, close the door! Can't you see I'm dressing?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpBear
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my dad carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, β€œWhat are you going to do with it?”

He said, β€œLet’s cross that fridge when we get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blonde divorcΓ©e keep her bullets in the refrigerator?

Because she was told, β€œRevenge is a dish best served cold.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie,” he says, β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDo you think our kids are spoiled?”

I said, β€œNo. I think most of them smell that way.”

πŸ‘︎ 668
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my brother a refrigerator for his birthday

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bransnow282
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A statistician stuck his head in an oven and his feet in a refrigerator

But on average the temperature was just fine

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhpXp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do you always salute a refrigerator?

Because it's General Electric.

Or Admiral I suppose.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Most Haikus make sense, This haiku probably won't, Refrigerator.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PetitePlethora
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the refrigerator emotionally more stable ?

Because he is always chilling out

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danyk16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.

Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the refrigerator door before opening it.

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

Because at this point, it’s got my vote.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Is your refrigerator running?

Because I might vote for it...

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Farbegn
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you always knock on a refrigerator door?

In case there’s a salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GerLAmag
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator,

but now it's just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it’s all water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was livid when I dropped some ice and it went under the refrigerator.

It's just water under the fridge now.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, quietly slip them under the refrigerator.

Soon it will be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife got mad at me for kicking ice cubes under the refrigerator.

But now it's all water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought my son a refrigerator for his birthday.

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prettycoolguy97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator

Keep it in the corner because it is 90 degree

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xd_Velociraptor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids ask me why I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it.

I say, "Because there may be a salad dressing."

πŸ‘︎ 334
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kas0510
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the broken refrigerator so angry?

Because he couldn’t keep his cool

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tom-and-roses
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...

And chill out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator in three steps?
  1. Open the refrigerator door
  2. Put the elephant in
  3. Close the refrigerator door
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/souryadg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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