I made a belt entirely by braiding together herbs that I found in my pantry. It took me about five hours.

What a waist of thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boris_keys
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Why does a skunk bother organizing his pantry?

He likes keeping everything in odor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinteln
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Why does it take all afternoon to eat all of the herbs in the pantry?

Because it’s a thyme consuming activity.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aurrutia214
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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As my friend Richard sat at my dining room table, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of milk and mixed in some brown powder from the yellow box in the pantry. That is how...

...I got Rich Quick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I was gonna make bread this morning, but when i checked the pantry for flour...

There was naan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smirkingrev3nge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Dad walking out of the pantry

Dad walks about of the pantry holding an empty bottle of spice.

"We're almost out of thyme!"

Mom shakes her head, "he's been waiting years to say that."

πŸ‘︎ 544
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frenchvanilla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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My wife: "Could you please go down to the basement pantry and get me the self-rising flour?"

Me: "If it's self rising, won't it make its way up here on it's own?"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StChas77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Today my mom opened the pantry and a box of cereal fell off the top shelf and hit her head.

Dad (sitting at the kitchen table) "GASP A CEREAL KILLER!!"

I died.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshTacoquiqua
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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My sister told be she found Soba noodles in her pantry, and wasn't sure what to do with them

I told her to give them some sake, then they'd be drunken noodles.

Oops... Told ME.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_interrobanger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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I’m really sad that someone stole my front door.

I need closure.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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My wife asked me where I put all the pans after washing them.

I inquired if she checked the pantry.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/draftjoker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Be careful of charming fat guys, ladies.

They are just trying to get into your pantries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Got the girlfriend after packing away the groceries.

GF: Don't you want to go check why the pantry door isn't closing.

Me: Wander over to the pantry, look inside, and spot the culprit immediately.

GF: So what was the problem?

Me: Slowly take the tin of jam out, and while grinning like an idiot, I look at her and say: Looks like the door had been jammed.

GF: Sighs and rolls her eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legithmus
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
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Why should you date a baker?

All it takes is flours to get into her pantries

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattreyu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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My Grandpa's Quest for Tomato Soup

Grandpa: "Carol, do we have any tomato soup?"

Grandma: "Yeah, there should be some in the pantry."

Grandpa: "Where?"

Grandma: "On the left. I put two cans in there."

Grandpa: "Now why would you put birds in the pantry?"

He proceeded to laugh for a solid minute.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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Went to the store with my roommate today.

Me: You know, this lemonade is a pretty good deal, but only if you get three cases of it. And I don't want to take up that much room in the pantry.

Roommate: It's a dilemmonade.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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My toddler is really into The Sound of Music, so he and my husband have been humming "Edelweiss" all day.

Now they are in the kitchen making dinner. My husband pulls a box of Uncle Ben's out of the pantry and then grabs a soup ladle off the counter and is now dancing around singing,

laaadle riiiiiiice ladle rice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuurAlaOrolo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Dadjoked my husband today

While cleaning out the pantry last night, my husband asked if I can see when the container of dates will go bad as he can't find a "Best if Used By" on the packaging. I take the container from him, look at it carefully and reply "Apparently, these are no expiration dates".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lipdoo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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Dad said the words, I made the joke

We have a big bag of walnuts in our pantry. In discussing what we should do with them my dad said in all seriousness "walnuts cost $20 a bag, isn't that nuts?" Laughing in a very obvious way I said "haha nuts" and my mom and sister groaned while my dad chuckled.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagreatusername
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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I'm quietly proud of my little Dad moment..

While my wife was in the kitchen fixing a snack, (after putting our little boy down for a nap) she says:

"Did you seriously eat all the peanut butter and then put the jar back in the pantry?"

Me: Damn Skippy

As her groans became stronger, I exited stage left

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/menstruelgigolo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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I don't think that's how it goes dad

As my dad is looking through the pantry... "We got enough chips to sink an army!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toughnutz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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I'm a dad who just found this sub and I feel like a kid in a candy store!

One of my favourites:

Whenever I hear my wife ask one of the kids to bring her two cans of something from the pantry, I say "Toucans?! We're having toucans for dinner?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keysnparrots
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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life cereal is what my dad eats for breakfast every day

Upon noticing moths in our pantry, my dad, mom and I try to figure out what food they have gotten into.

Mom: Do you think they got into the life cereal?

Dad: I really hope not. If they did that would be the end of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franktacular
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
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