What do you call Clint Barton when he does the laundry?
Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.
My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel
How much fun is doing laundry?
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.
Led Zeppelin ran a laundry appliance business.
They were called the Dryer Makers.
My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it is to do laundry.
Finally, I threw in the towel.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry
He said, 'These just socks'.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over... now I’m
Sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
"So you stood there and watched while I dropped all of the laundry?"
"Yep, I watched it all unfold."
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..
i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry
Me: it’s a sacrifice to the dryer gods.
My dad: it’s a sockrifice.
(This was an actual joke made by my actual dad today.)
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
You know what the terms "no mercy" and "dirty laundry" have in common?
I finally did the laundry today.
That was a load off my mind.
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
What do you call a president that has a ton of laundry to do?
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
"Did you just stand there watching me fall and drop all the laundry?"
"Yes, I watched it all unfold"
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like the first president.
Because I’m Washing-a-ton
"Did you see when i fell and dropped all the laundry?"
"Yes, i watched it all unfold
Why did the Eskimo do laundry in tide?
Because it was too damn cold out tide.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
In college, my roommate used to do my laundry, and I used to do his.
We were maid for each other.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why some mobsters prefer not to laundry their dirty money?
They want to be filthy rich.
What do you call a president, who does a lot of laundry?
My daughter tried doing her first load of laundry by herself. All the colors bled and intermixed.
"Well," she said. "It did say on the clothing labels to wash in, like, colors."
What did April say when playing tag in the laundry room?
May tag. You are it.
Am a dad but never had an original thought before this so here's my first submission.
How do they wash laundry in Bangkok?
I bet someone all of my laundry that I could make them laugh
There's a lot on the line
Last night, my wife and I had a long argument about whose turn it is to do laundry.
My wife and I were up all night arguing over who is doing all the laundry.
What do you call it when you almost forgot to do your laundry?
I accidentally spilt a half bottle of laundry detergent. It landed in a conveniently placed bucket tho!
I was able to turn the tide.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
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