My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
π︎ 18
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Laundry puns
π︎ 25
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︎ Mar 03 2020
Laundry puns?
π︎ 7
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︎ May 18 2019
Emphasis on laundry rotation
π︎ 5k
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Did you hear about the thief on the run for stealing laundry detergent?
β¦heβs wanted for his ill-begotten Gain
π︎ 2
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︎ May 28 2021
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
π︎ 7
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︎ May 30 2021
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 11 2021
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
π︎ 92
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︎ Mar 06 2021
Sun dried laundry is always...
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 24 2021
People find laundry therapeutic...
... because it takes a load off their mind.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 22 2021
My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"
Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president
Because I am washing-a-ton
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are
Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch
... And George Harrison.
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call a president that has to do a lot of laundry?
π︎ 15
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︎ Jan 21 2021
What do you call Clint Barton when he does the laundry?
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.
My response: Not sure son, thatβs kind of a grey area.
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 19 2020
How much fun is doing laundry?
π︎ 46
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
π︎ 14k
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︎ Jul 02 2019
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Led Zeppelin ran a laundry appliance business.
They were called the Dryer Makers.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry
He said, 'These just socks'.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 06 2020
My dad was complaining heβd lost a sock after doing his laundry
Me: itβs a sacrifice to the dryer gods.
My dad: itβs a sockrifice.
(This was an actual joke made by my actual dad today.)
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︎ May 30 2020
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over... now Iβm
Sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 05 2020
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry..
i became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 28 2020
I finally did the laundry today.
That was a load off my mind.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 19 2020
Laundry
π︎ 3k
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︎ Mar 15 2018
π︎ 16
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
π︎ 4
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︎ May 30 2020
What do you call a president that has a ton of laundry to do?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 05 2020
"Did you just stand there watching me fall and drop all the laundry?"
"Yes, I watched it all unfold"
π︎ 50
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︎ Feb 04 2020
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 10 2020
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 04 2020
"Did you see when i fell and dropped all the laundry?"
"Yes, i watched it all unfold
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 07 2020
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 05 2019
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Why did the Eskimo do laundry in tide?
Because it was too damn cold out tide.
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 19 2020
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 27 2020
In college, my roommate used to do my laundry, and I used to do his.
We were maid for each other.
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 29 2020
My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it is to do laundry.
Finally, I threw in the towel.
π︎ 132
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︎ Jul 10 2020
"So you stood there and watched while I dropped all of the laundry?"
"Yep, I watched it all unfold."
π︎ 29
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
π︎ 115
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︎ Jun 03 2020
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like the first president.
Because Iβm Washing-a-ton
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 27 2020
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
π︎ 52
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︎ Jul 19 2019
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