Landed a good I think while pressure washing today.
Me: Well son the driveway was long over due for a cleaning.
My son: oh yeah? Was it?
Me: I think evidence is pretty concrete!
He gave me the eye roll and head back, a win in my book.
Recently, I’ve been building a car made from old washing machine parts
I’m going to take it out a spin tomorrow
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.
I was washing my car with my friend,
Until they said, ‘can’t you just use a sponge?’
A man was washing the car with his son.
The son asked, "why don't you use a sponge instead?"
My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked “could you guys load the dishwasher please?”
So my dad brought her a glass of wine.
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody.”
One day, a father was washing a car with his son...
The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"
Is washing my hands technically a germocide?
My son was washing some dollar bills the other day
He said it was money laundering
I’ve always hated washing my hands with hot water
But I’ve started warming up to it
I used to be a pro at washing my hands.
But now I'm all washed up.
Geroge Washing Ton and Bill Clean Ton
I got arrested for forgetting to take out my wallet before washing my pants.
I was charged with money laundering.
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I sold my washing machine last week because i had a $20 bill in my last wash
I didnt want to be caught money laundering
Been out washing the car with my son.
He said Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?
What do you call the burnout experienced 3/4’s of the way through hand-washing a particularly large load of dishes?
Post-Traumatic Stress Dishorder.
I've been washing my hands so much that now I think they are greeting me.
Must be because of my hi gene.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Since everyone has started washing their hands, door knobs just don’t taste the same.
If you accidentally leave some cash in your clothing and it goes through the washing machine,
Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?
I tried to cook dinner for my wife, but I accidentally added washing soda instead of baking soda.
She’s foaming at the mouth.
I put my clothes in the washing machine yesterday and all of them came out with a picture of Santa on it.
I shouldn’t have used the Yule Tide Detergent.
I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:
"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"
My wife found a $5 bill in the washing machine
Me: "I'm going to have to call the FBI."
Wife: "Why?"
Me: "Because you've been laundering money."
My wife is mad at me because I didn’t know the difference between washing soda and baking soda.
It left her foaming at the mouth.
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
I discovered a paradigm in my washing machine.
I'll be putting that 20¢ in my rainy day fund.
I was washing my dishes and my wife asked if I could wash some extras that she put there.
I'm avoiding it by fleeing to a non-extradish'n country.
Thoughts while washing a coffee cup I gave my dad and deciding to keep it for myself.
I am not an Indian giver...
...I take that back.
A father was outside washing his car with his son
The son asks: "Dad, can't we just use a sponge?"
I was washing the car with a friend
Until they said, “Can’t you just use a sponge?”
A dad was washing his car with his son.
After a while, the son turned to his dad and said "Hey Dad, why can't we just use a sponge ?"
I had to take my wallet out of my pants before washing them.
Money laundering is illegal.
I built a car with my washing machine motor.
I am going to take it for a spin later.
A dad was washing his car with his son when the son said
“Dad, can you please use the sponge?”
A dad is washing his car with his son.
The son says: "Dad, can't you use a sponge"?
A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
A dad was washing his car with his son.
The son asked why they couldn't just use a sponge.
I was washing my car with my daughter the other day
and she asked “Dad, why don’t you just use a sponge?”
I was washing my car with my son
He said “can’t you just use the sponge?”
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