Hand washing pun!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doccadocca
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Landed a good I think while pressure washing today.

Me: Well son the driveway was long over due for a cleaning.

My son: oh yeah? Was it?

Me: I think evidence is pretty concrete!

He gave me the eye roll and head back, a win in my book.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Recently, I’ve been building a car made from old washing machine parts

I’m going to take it out a spin tomorrow

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.

It was level pegging.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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I was washing my car with my friend,

Until they said, β€˜can’t you just use a sponge?’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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A man was washing the car with his son.

The son asked, "why don't you use a sponge instead?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rey_lumen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked β€œcould you guys load the dishwasher please?”

So my dad brought her a glass of wine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossata
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Turns out our washing machine DOES have a β€œbaby poop” setting.

It’s called β€œHeavy Doody.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phagemakerpro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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One day, a father was washing a car with his son...

The son asks, "why can't we just use a sponge?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Is washing my hands technically a germocide?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacthehedgehog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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My son was washing some dollar bills the other day

He said it was money laundering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I’ve always hated washing my hands with hot water

But I’ve started warming up to it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi-I-may-be-Satan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I used to be a pro at washing my hands.

But now I'm all washed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wileydan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Geroge Washing Ton and Bill Clean Ton
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safinkodyr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I got arrested for forgetting to take out my wallet before washing my pants.

I was charged with money laundering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abcruz7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I just built a car out of a washing machine.

I’ll be taking it for a spin later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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I sold my washing machine last week because i had a $20 bill in my last wash

I didnt want to be caught money laundering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolrule360
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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Been out washing the car with my son.

He said Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What do you call the burnout experienced 3/4’s of the way through hand-washing a particularly large load of dishes?

Post-Traumatic Stress Dishorder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colorblindbass
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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I've been washing my hands so much that now I think they are greeting me.

Must be because of my hi gene.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raskaro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.

I think I strained my voice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YarrowBeSorrel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Since everyone has started washing their hands, door knobs just don’t taste the same.

Sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/floppywinky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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If you accidentally leave some cash in your clothing and it goes through the washing machine,

Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I tried to cook dinner for my wife, but I accidentally added washing soda instead of baking soda.

She’s foaming at the mouth.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I put my clothes in the washing machine yesterday and all of them came out with a picture of Santa on it.

I shouldn’t have used the Yule Tide Detergent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My wife found a $5 bill in the washing machine

Me: "I'm going to have to call the FBI."

Wife: "Why?"

Me: "Because you've been laundering money."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmcsalmon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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I recently overheard my dad washing the dishes. He repeatedly pushed a fork under water while saying:

"WHO DO YOU FORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR PLATE?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Got_A_Hatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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My wife is mad at me because I didn’t know the difference between washing soda and baking soda.

It left her foaming at the mouth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand

I told her, β€œwell... it’s better than washing them by foot.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whuaiguy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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I discovered a paradigm in my washing machine.

I'll be putting that 20Β’ in my rainy day fund.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I was washing my dishes and my wife asked if I could wash some extras that she put there.

I'm avoiding it by fleeing to a non-extradish'n country.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatherBeSkiing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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Thoughts while washing a coffee cup I gave my dad and deciding to keep it for myself.

I am not an Indian giver...

...I take that back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abnerk43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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A father was outside washing his car with his son

The son asks: "Dad, can't we just use a sponge?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ba71905
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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I was washing the car with a friend

Until they said, β€œCan’t you just use a sponge?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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A dad was washing his car with his son.

After a while, the son turned to his dad and said "Hey Dad, why can't we just use a sponge ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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I had to take my wallet out of my pants before washing them.

Money laundering is illegal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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I built a car with my washing machine motor.

I am going to take it for a spin later.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyyTrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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A dad was washing his car with his son when the son said

β€œDad, can you please use the sponge?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PolkaDottedFork
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,

"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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A dad is washing his car with his son.

The son says: "Dad, can't you use a sponge"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Zedd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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A dad was washing his car with his son.

The son asked why they couldn't just use a sponge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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I was washing my car with my daughter the other day

and she asked β€œDad, why don’t you just use a sponge?”

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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I was washing my car with my son

He said β€œcan’t you just use the sponge?”

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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