The strangest job I had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

That shit was bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate spring cleaning...

Darn things bounce all over the place.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormtrooper-85
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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I thanked him for cleaning my driveway. But he just brushed it off.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derbsl28
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was cleaning my room earlier I found book on anti-gravity...

I couldn't put it down.

As told by my son to my wife just now. The circle is complete.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession

He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YayGettel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I texted my daughter, "Did you know that superglue can also be used for cleaning!"

"Your computer keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"

Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Why does Cinderella go extra crazy with her spring cleaning?

She has March Madness

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I always wanted a job cleaning mirrors...

Its just something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethereal_luv
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I got a job cleaning the building where the horses are kept.

It's not much but it's stable work.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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What do you call a progressive superhero that specializes in cleaning?

Libman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPeneMcgundy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Can anyone reccomend me a good way of cleaning windshield from ice?

I used my discount card but I only got 20% off!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shone32
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I sold my cleaning equipment.

It was just collecting dust.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdeptCrow3733
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I just fired myself from cleaning my house.

I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Pinocchio spend all day cleaning his house?

He sawdust.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4-4-Run
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Cleaning out my fridge when...

I came across two containers of butter. I guess you could say it was a second-dairy

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJsmurfySmurf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My kids started dancing while cleaning up the house.

It was some pretty good chore-eography.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EzekiahHopkins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Cleaning mirror

Is a job that I can really see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smokyeyepanda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Cleaning a mirror
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robocoolgamer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Man: I’m so sorry I’m late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?

Boss: You mist the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PbyFortress
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

I could really see myself doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P5ammead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.

Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Seabear
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was cleaning my finger gun the other day...

And shot a hole in my air guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldSweep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom needed help standing up after cleaning the bathroom, so she asked my dad for a hand.

He started clapping.

(Obligatory: actually happened today, my mom messaged me to complain about his bad joke. I thought it was fucking hilarious.)

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malagrond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You should really consider doing a job cleaning mirrors.

It leaves plenty of time for self-reflection.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brcn3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was cleaning the coffee filter and forgot to rinse the grounds down the sink.

My wife comes up and asks me why I forgot to clean the sink. I said β€œWhat? Am I grounded?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bambajon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife claims that vacuum cleaners are always better for cleaning than a brush.

I said, β€œThat’s a sweeping generalization.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
We were cleaning out our closets today and my wife forgot the code to her luggage, but luckily, I managed to figure it out. I looked her and gloated proudly...

"Well, I guess you can say...I solved the case!!"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Next Summer I'm applying for a job cleaning mirrors.

It's something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaynesky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
cleaning with alcohol doesn't work...

...NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Awhile ago my roomate moved out, i was cleaning his old room when I stumbled upon a fake mustache in a box under his bed, when i asked him about it he replied:

β€œYou finally found it, my secret stache”

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacaboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Chimney Cleaning
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me why I was spinning in circles when I was supposed to be cleaning the keyboard...

I lost control.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VamanaGG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which nationality always is helpful when cleaning things.

The polish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yebattebyasuka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Cleaning your cat's litter box is a lot like sifting gold except for 1 thing

the prize is a lot crappier...literally.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decaknight9000
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation

like when you have to change someone's mind.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I need cleaning puns!!!

What are some of your favorite cleaning puns?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ttpd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The weirdest summer job I had was cleaning monkey cages at our local zoo.

That shit was bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession

He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

That shit was bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Cleaning mirrors is a job I see myself doing.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adragontype
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like doing spring cleaning

Damn things bounce all over the place

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Next week I have an interview for a job cleaning mirrors,

It’s really something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeSplodge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The weirdest job I ever had was cleaning the monkey cage at our local zoo.

That shit was bananas.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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