The strangest job I had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I hate spring cleaning...
Darn things bounce all over the place.
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︎ May 06 2021
I thanked him for cleaning my driveway. But he just brushed it off.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
When I was cleaning my room earlier I found book on anti-gravity...
I couldn't put it down.
As told by my son to my wife just now. The circle is complete.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I texted my daughter, "Did you know that superglue can also be used for cleaning!"
"Your computer keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
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︎ Apr 06 2021
My son never does his laundry so one day I got fed up and told him "If you don't start cleaning your clothes I'm going to leave you all my dirty clothes in my will!"
Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Why does Cinderella go extra crazy with her spring cleaning?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I always wanted a job cleaning mirrors...
Its just something I can see myself doing.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
I got a job cleaning the building where the horses are kept.
It's not much but it's stable work.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
What do you call a progressive superhero that specializes in cleaning?
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︎ Mar 03 2021
Can anyone reccomend me a good way of cleaning windshield from ice?
I used my discount card but I only got 20% off!
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
I just fired myself from cleaning my house.
I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Why did Pinocchio spend all day cleaning his house?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Cleaning out my fridge when...
I came across two containers of butter. I guess you could say it was a second-dairy
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My kids started dancing while cleaning up the house.
It was some pretty good chore-eography.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Cleaning mirror
Is a job that I can really see myself doing.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Cleaning a mirror
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Man: Iβm so sorry Iβm late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 27 2020
These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
I could really see myself doing it.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Thereβs a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earthβs orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like theyβll need a vacuum cleaner
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︎ Oct 19 2020
I was cleaning my finger gun the other day...
And shot a hole in my air guitar.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
My mom needed help standing up after cleaning the bathroom, so she asked my dad for a hand.
He started clapping.
(Obligatory: actually happened today, my mom messaged me to complain about his bad joke. I thought it was fucking hilarious.)
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︎ Aug 05 2020
You should really consider doing a job cleaning mirrors.
It leaves plenty of time for self-reflection.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
I was cleaning the coffee filter and forgot to rinse the grounds down the sink.
My wife comes up and asks me why I forgot to clean the sink. I said βWhat? Am I grounded?β
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︎ Aug 19 2020
My wife claims that vacuum cleaners are always better for cleaning than a brush.
I said, βThatβs a sweeping generalization.β
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︎ Jul 22 2020
We were cleaning out our closets today and my wife forgot the code to her luggage, but luckily, I managed to figure it out. I looked her and gloated proudly...
"Well, I guess you can say...I solved the case!!"
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Next Summer I'm applying for a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I can see myself doing.
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︎ Mar 03 2020
cleaning with alcohol doesn't work...
...NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Awhile ago my roomate moved out, i was cleaning his old room when I stumbled upon a fake mustache in a box under his bed, when i asked him about it he replied:
βYou finally found it, my secret stacheβ
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︎ Jan 03 2020
Chimney Cleaning
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︎ Jan 06 2020
My son asked me why I was spinning in circles when I was supposed to be cleaning the keyboard...
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︎ Dec 02 2019
Which nationality always is helpful when cleaning things.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Cleaning your cat's litter box is a lot like sifting gold except for 1 thing
the prize is a lot crappier...literally.
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︎ May 25 2020
A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation
like when you have to change someone's mind.
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︎ Dec 10 2019
I need cleaning puns!!!
What are some of your favorite cleaning puns?
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︎ Mar 07 2019
The weirdest summer job I had was cleaning monkey cages at our local zoo.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
The other day I asked my Dad why he took up window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.
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︎ Sep 13 2019
Cleaning mirrors is a job I see myself doing.
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︎ May 16 2020
I don't like doing spring cleaning
Damn things bounce all over the place
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Next week I have an interview for a job cleaning mirrors,
Itβs really something I can see myself doing.
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︎ Mar 10 2020
The weirdest job I ever had was cleaning the monkey cage at our local zoo.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
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