Bathroom pun...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antonio-ferreira
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.

It was the hardest dump I ever took

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?

Lou.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joblesshopeful007
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...

I guess I have to keep holding it.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?

A shampoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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Why did E come out of the bathroom U?

He musta had a vowel movement.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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What do you call a bathroom line?

A P,Q.

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πŸ“…︎ May 30
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a cracked bathroom mirror is a serious issue

You need to look into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhsorrybro
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?

European.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FadiCh2002
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when they go to the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEvilSunBro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Why can't you hear a psychiatrist use the bathroom?

The P is silent!

.

Edit: thanks for the hugz award!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuteAutumnBear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.

They're all past tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/destroyerofhops
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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What happens when you go the bathroom in Europe?

Euro-pea-an

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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When you walk into the bathroom...

...urine there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snoop_John_B
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

I’ll be here all day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RouGEkila
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Why do people from West Russia take their time in the bathroom?

Because you don't wanna be Russian while European

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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My wife asked me, β€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, β€œI don’t see myself doing that.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ES_FTrader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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A German guy built a bathroom around his table

Bad um Tisch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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Someone really did a number on the office bathroom.

I got really upset until I realized I work from home and I am the only one home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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URINE for a treat right here! A sticker on the bathroom wall at work.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dough1360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.

He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, β€œWill you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...

β€œI do!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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What happens when a grenade goes off in a French bathroom?

Linoleum Blown-Apart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndosch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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Going into the bathroom in the middle of the night trying not to wake up anybody is like a psychiatrist.

The pee is silent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaidJago88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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So this bank robber I know brings a bathroom scale with him to every heist.

He always gets a weigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorStrawn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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My son (8) walked out of the bathroom this morning and exclaimed "whoof!...

... I haven't peed since last year!"

I couldn't be more proud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcschnazz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, β€œHa! That’s not going to help!”

β€œSure, it does.” I said. β€œIt’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotPreacher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Shouldn’t the bedroom be called the Restroom instead of the bathroom?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The bathroom fixtures delivery man is here, honey!

Let that sink in

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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My boyfriend told me as I walked in β€œhey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slebsta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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We’re in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that she’s not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.

I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxcoblex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I'll be in the bathroom a little longer this morning...

Because I've been holding this in since last year. Out of the way!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diehardpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My house is a smart house because it has a bathroom

Because it has an IP address.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incognitj0e
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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Vandals drilled a peephole into the ladies bathroom.

The police are looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I was on the bathroom scales, sucking my stomach in.

Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"

"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Why can't we hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom

Because it has a silent pee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PN341720
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Why can't you hear the psychic going to the bathroom?

Because the p is silent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
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If you were a russian when you went in the bathroom and a finnish when you left, what were you in the bathroom?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aexus1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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If you're Russian in the kitchen what are you in the bathroom?

European

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My wife asked me, β€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, β€œI don’t see myself doing that.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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How come you can never hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because its P is silent.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom ?

Because the P is silent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noelittle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the P is silent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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