My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He musta had a vowel movement.
What do you call a bathroom line?
a cracked bathroom mirror is a serious issue
You need to look into it.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when they go to the bathroom?
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist use the bathroom?
The P is silent!
.
Edit: thanks for the hugz award!
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
What happens when you go the bathroom in Europe?
When you walk into the bathroom...
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
I’ll be here all day
Why do people from West Russia take their time in the bathroom?
Because you don't wanna be Russian while European
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
A German guy built a bathroom around his table
Someone really did a number on the office bathroom.
I got really upset until I realized I work from home and I am the only one home.
URINE for a treat right here! A sticker on the bathroom wall at work.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...
What happens when a grenade goes off in a French bathroom?
Going into the bathroom in the middle of the night trying not to wake up anybody is like a psychiatrist.
So this bank robber I know brings a bathroom scale with him to every heist.
My son (8) walked out of the bathroom this morning and exclaimed "whoof!...
... I haven't peed since last year!"
I couldn't be more proud
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
Shouldn’t the bedroom be called the Restroom instead of the bathroom?
The bathroom fixtures delivery man is here, honey!
My boyfriend told me as I walked in “hey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
We’re in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that she’s not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.
I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself
I'll be in the bathroom a little longer this morning...
Because I've been holding this in since last year. Out of the way!
My house is a smart house because it has a bathroom
Because it has an IP address.
Vandals drilled a peephole into the ladies bathroom.
The police are looking into it.
I was on the bathroom scales, sucking my stomach in.
Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"
"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Why can't we hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom
Because it has a silent pee.
Why can't you hear the psychic going to the bathroom?
If you were a russian when you went in the bathroom and a finnish when you left, what were you in the bathroom?
If you're Russian in the kitchen what are you in the bathroom?
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
How come you can never hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom ?
Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
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