Bathroom pun...
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/antonio-ferreira
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My son (8) walked out of the bathroom this morning and exclaimed "whoof!...

... I haven't peed since last year!"

I couldn't be more proud

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dcschnazz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
If you're Russian in the kitchen what are you in the bathroom?

European

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The bathroom fixtures delivery man is here, honey!

Let that sink in

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I'll be in the bathroom a little longer this morning...

Because I've been holding this in since last year. Out of the way!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Diehardpuns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
How come you can never hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because its P is silent.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotPreacher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Shouldn’t the bedroom be called the Restroom instead of the bathroom?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the P is silent

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Daffy Duck went to Porky Pig’s house. When he arrived he used the bathroom, but there wasn’t any toilet paper. Daffy yelled for Porky and Porky replied:

Bidet bidet bidet, that’s all folks.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was on the bathroom scales, sucking my stomach in.

Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"

"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just found myself with problems in the bathroom as the clock struck 12...

Same shit, new year

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DantheMan350V2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Vandals drilled a peephole into the ladies bathroom.

The police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you are Russian when headed to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you when you are in the bathroom?

European

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the bathroom earlier today and forgot my phone

It was a shitty experience

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moor9776
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.

It was the hardest dump I ever took.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Scottish people use to wipe after using the bathroom?

Kilted Northern

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend told me as I walked in β€œhey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slebsta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
(True story) My GF asked me to kill a spider in the bathroom today.

It was so small that I couldn't even see it at first. She had to point it out, a tiny brown pinhead crawling up our slightly-darker-brown cabinet about knee-high.

"How did you even see that?" I asked.

And she answered, "With my spider-sense."

I love this woman so, so much.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor

Yes, it was the VI P room

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom

Because the P is silent

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ibealittlebirdy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that you change nationalities when you really have to go to the bathroom?

When you’re trying to find the facilities, you’re Russian. Once you get there though, European.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halokost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m at school and I feel the urge to use the bathroom

Me: teacher can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: it’s may Me: no it’s not, it’s December

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If you stink up another persons bathroom, you’re an asshole.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/homosapien-male
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, β€œI don’t see myself doing that.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When you go into the bathroom you're American. When you leave the bathroom you're American. What are you when you're in the bathroom?

European

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What does dancer say when they have to use the bathroom?

I have to go and-a-one, and-a-two.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hola0722
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, β€œHa! That’s not going to help!”

β€œSure, it does.” I said. β€œIt’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the ghost go to the bathroom?

He had to go number boo.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XD_Im_Pink_Pixel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad would walk me to the bathroom when I was scared to pee at night...

That’s a number one dad

πŸ‘︎ 380
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the bathroom and took a poo....

....not sure whose it was, it's mine now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Most bathroom renovators have this problem when they get older

Erect Tile Dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?

European.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: Son, did you know that if you, as an American, go into a bathroom in France you are no longer an American? Son: No, I didn’t. What would I be?

Dad: You’re a peein’.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I just had a fight. She has locked herself in the bathroom for an hour and still hasn't left.

I am tired of her shit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnotherKakkar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the father say to the son after the son peed all over the bathroom?

Dad: Urine big trouble buster

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Koi-Moi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the p is silent

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NormallyWierd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The new fan in my bathroom came from a farm

It’s an ex-tractor fan

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NZn3rd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend tried to delay the inevitable by locking himself in a public bathroom...

He stalled for time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When you make it to the bathroom just in time

Urine luck!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Friggin_Bobandy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person that stole my broken bathroom scale...

... You won’t get a weigh with this!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the paper go to the bathroom?

He had to take a sheet

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepOut75
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I put a skylight in my bathroom

Boy were the neighbors upstairs pissed

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
When the bathroom is smelling good ...

It is out of odour

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the P is silent

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/12mpclark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're Russian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?

European

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach.

Ha! That’s not going to help, she said. Sure, it does, I said. Its the only way I can see the numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBigReeeeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.