I just got a Squatty Potty

I've been trying to use it but it just leaves me feeling empty inside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tisigornorich
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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What do you call a porta-potty that’s bigger on the inside?

A turdis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scepticgamer511
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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We’re in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that she’s not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.

I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxcoblex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Did you hear about the porter potty camping trip?

Shit was intense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrgonz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Where do sheep go potty?

In the baa-throom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pollrobots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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I heard my daughter going potty, so I asked if she was from France.

She said β€œno why?” I said β€œβ€˜cause European”

She said β€œI don’t like your dad jokes, they’re the worst.” I responded β€œno, those are from Germany”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzwanger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Saw a guy driving a truck with a port-a-potty attached to the back...

He must have a shitty job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProDisco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Baby robot says to his dad β€œI have to go potty.”

Daddy robot says β€œnumber 1 or number 10?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSilicaGel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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I’ve been potty training my daughter and we got her a Squatty Potty.

Now instead of pooping in her diaper, she assumes the poosition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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Which instruments have a bad potty mouth?

The perCUSSion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinbluecolor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What an outstanding result in potty training.

An envy pee.

(like an MVP, get it..OK I go away now)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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I just potty trained my son and he's already the best pooper in the world.

He's #1 at #2.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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We were driving our mini-van behind a truck carrying porta-potties and my wife said "It would suck if those fell off in front of us" and I said

"The shit would really hit the van then". snort

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnivesMakeMe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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What did the bat say while potty training?

I'm doing asbestos I can!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dustyfingers
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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My daughter used the potty for the first time

I exclaimed "urine all-star!"

It took her mom a moment before she groaned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Graham_BC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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What does Batman call the place where he goes potty?

The Bat-hroom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freewave07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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Got my wife while potty training our daughter.

My daughter tried to go poop today for the first time on the potty. It didn't go well. There was "one that got away" if you know what I mean. She got excited and ran out of the bathroom without being properly cleaned up. It ended up on the rug in her room (she has a brown and green rug so it blended right in) and my wife found it by stepping on it. I had to run to the store to get some carpet cleaner. I get home and she has it mostly cleaned up. This is where it starts: Wife: I got most of it out already. Me: Ok. I'll get the rest with the cleaner. Wife: I scrubbed it pretty good for like twenty minutes. Me: To get it that clean, I thought it would have taken about turd-y minutes. She groaned and my son and I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibs2pid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
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Dadjoked my new landlord today. (Potty humor within)

"I got a new toilet topper for you guys so you can put your shit in it!" "I usually just put my shit in the toilet!" Let's just say we got off on the right foot. Then the left. Also should add im 18 years old and this surprised my two best friends at the landlady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiseryAd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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