Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl when it goes to the washroom?

Because the P is silent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Albettros
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Before going to the washroom, you’re β€˜merican. After going to the washroom, you’re β€˜merican. When you’re in the washroom...

European.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xander395
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
You may be American when you enter the washroom and you may be American when you leave the washroom but..

When you’re in there European

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fredvanvleetsr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a comedian going to the washroom?

A comic relief

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
They put up an out of order sign on the washroom door...

Or, as they call it, a no-defecation notification.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Sports channel in the men's washroom...

He is peein'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the colour of a ghost’s washroom?

Boo-loo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodium_hater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Found in a university washroom i.reddituploads.com/267c4…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tsands22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Overheard a "dad joke" at a restaurant... wife gets up, presumably to go the washroom, and says.. "I will be right back." Husband replies, "thanks for the warning".
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/heavym
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
I have to go the washroom...

Brother: "brb dad I need to go to the washroom"

Dad: "shit happens."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/getdetayled
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad put bells on the washroom door

Every time someone uses the washroom he yells "I can hear you tinkling!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jobymax
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm on my way

My wife is 37 weeks pregnant and is scheduled to be induced this morning. She woke up last night just after midnight (I checked) to use the washroom and when she got back into bed I asked her if it was after 12 yet. She said she thought so and asked why. I told her I wanted to be the first to wish her a Happy Birth Day! She appropriately groaned then giggled, so I think I'm ready. Wish me luck!

Edit: We got him a couple hours ago! Everything went well, no complications. Thanks reddit strangers for the comments and well wishes. I know the rules say nothing identifying, 'oh when' ever they change that I'll post his name. Goodnight everyone, I have to try and nap before his feeding

πŸ‘οΈŽ 226
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AspiringBuddhist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
There is 10 minutes until the wedding starts

If you need to use the washroom, go now or forever hold your pee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/romanator25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Kind of a dirtier dad joke but my dad said this when I was 12 and it was hilarious.

We were on a road trip to the cottage and we stopped at a service center to get gas, food etc.

My brother and I go to the washroom urinals and we are both taking a piss. My dad walks in the washroom and says "Oh, so this is where the dicks hang out."

I Didn't understand the pun then but I appreciate how funny it is now that I'm older.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1337Scott
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2014
🚨︎ report
PSA: Never take your dad to DeDutch.

Be courteous to the DeDutch waitstaff (and to yourself) this holiday season by leaving your dads at home before dining at DeDutch. Following is just a small sample of jokes that your dad WILL make after ordering his DeBratwurst from DeLunch menu on his DeClub card.

  • I have to go to DeWashroom.
  • When the waitress asks how the food is, the only responses will be either "DeLightful", or "DeLicious".
  • Pass DeSalt.
  • Make sure to leave a good Detip for the DeService!
  • You've got DeHollandaise sauce on your DeShirt!

The waitstaff will pretend to laugh every time. But secretly they die inside a little every time.

It's really quite DeSpicable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ReddSap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Can teachers also be dads?

When I was younger I would ask my teacher "Can I go to the washroom/bathroom?"
More often than not the response was "I don't know, can you?"

EDIT: Missed a letter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Faable1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the washroom?

Cause the P is silent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChaseCeer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the washroom?

Because the "p" is silent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AL_MASLUL81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the washroom?

because the P is silent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/your_local_werido
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the washroom?

...because the 'p' is silent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/therealkorach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.