My twin preschool boys were playing with foam letters in the bathtub.

One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.

So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".

Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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Buckets are pathetic compared to bathtubs

In fact they pail in comparison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
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When you buy a bigger bathtub,

you have more bath room but less bathroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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My friend liked to linger in the bathtub and drink wine...

He was a soak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs....

It might not quite work out in english, but it got stuck in my head - chlorine being used in pools, which are glorified bathtubs....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyOdd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?' he said...

'No, just up to your neck'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullmiz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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A husband comes home and finds his amputee wife lying in the bathtub with the shower head on, crying.

He feels pity at the sight and asks "What's wrong, love?" She turns to him and says "I can't stand showering without my legs"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironfist221
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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What do you call a lepper in a bathtub?

Stew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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When you wake up in a bathtub full of ice

You've got to be kidney me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobjames_227
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I dropped my phone in the bathtub.

Now it's syncing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LolISux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Bathtubs are basically big dishwashers.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClebberBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?

A robber ducky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onlyadeej
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Cute petite smacks pussy in bathtub
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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Well, I just bought a bottle of Draino to unclog my bathtub

Here goes $7.00 down the drain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/powertripp82
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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Dad, I found a penny in the bathtub. That makes no sense.

Me: That doesn’t make no cents, it makes one cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markydsade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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My kid asked the bathtub, "What's it like being a bathtub?"

It said, it's kind of draining.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustachereviews
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...

I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koravel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Well, I just bought a bottle of Drano to unclog my bathtub

Here goes $7.00 down the drain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/powertripp82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I should start a company that makes sinks, bathtubs, toilets, etc.

I'll call it Rub A Tub Tub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talking_bacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScoobyD00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Two elephants in a bathtub

The elephant in the front asks the one in. The back to pass the soap. The elephant in the back says, "what do I look like? A typewriter?" As your audience stares at you in confusion you spring this one on them.

"Quick! Ask me if I'm a truck!" "Ummmm... Are you a truck?"

With the most blank look you can muster reply with "No." and walk away shaking your head.

As a dad, this is my favorite joke. Been using it since I was a teenager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phc_me
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
🚨︎ report

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