I asked my mom and dad what they were doing downstairs, they said they were wrapping

So I said they'll have to preform for me sometime

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SenarioStudent
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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If Dwayne Johnson had downstairs neighbors, they would be clueless about just about everything.

You would be too if you lived under a Rock.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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So proud of my daughter, who ran upstairs to tell me our downstairs toilet was smoking.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

πŸ‘︎ 627
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdad0206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.

He just has a chip on his shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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I walked downstairs to find my daughter eating cereal in complete darkness

I asked her, "What kind of psycho eats cereal in the dark?"

"A cereal killer" she replied.

I have taught her well.

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TriggerHippie77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Why didn’t Dwayne Johnson’s downstairs neighbor recognize him?

Because he’s been living under a rock.

πŸ‘︎ 343
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πŸ‘€︎ u/achafrankiee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Why can't sweet Jimmy play downstairs?

He needs to use the stairway to havefun

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/busy-idiot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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My wife yelled, β€œHey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.

Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I was running late getting the kids ready this morning. We finally got downstairs and I yell for my daughter. "Oh no sweetie! Look at what happened! Who peed on the counter!?"

https://imgur.com/a/vYT7ZBx

She's 3. "Dad...that's...a pea. Not...pee."

"That's what I said. Pea!'

ΰ² ΰ²Ώ_ΰ² 

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soomuchcoffee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I walked downstairs this morning and my mom said "You're up!"

My dad then proceeded to say "Asia!" Of course we were confused so then he said "What? I thought we were naming continents."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePatata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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My wife came downstairs this morning and laughed, "You had too much to eat yesterday and you've got a hangover, don't you?!" "You don't get a hangover from eating too much!" I challenged.

She dug, "You do! For goodness sake, loosen your belt, it's disgusting!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Dad went to bed, then came downstairs 5 minutes later to ask if I got his text

Check my phone,

"iTired...there's a nap for that"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giantantreal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2015
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A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs":

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yea_I_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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I have a half dozen numbered storage β€˜bays’ that I keep downstairs, all my camping equipment is in the last one, so every camping trip starts with me getting back to bay six.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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My brother and I were carrying a couch downstairs...

My dad while carrying a lamp: "Looks like I got the light load"

πŸ‘︎ 475
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackKelly11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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Last night while eating spaghetti downstairs, I said β€œWow it’s chilly down here.”

Without skipping a beat my husband responds β€œI thought it was spaghetti?”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OddworldKarma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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How do monkeys get downstairs?

They slide down the bananaster.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tombola201uk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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What do you call a snobby criminal walking downstairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hemightbebrian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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Upstairs, Downstairs: a dad's malicious compliance

I posted this over on r/MaliciousCompliance and was told that it might fit over here as well. > Wife: "I think I left my phone on the nightstand. Would you please run up the stairs for me, dear?"
> Me: "Sure, hon."
> I dash up the stairs, turn around at the top and come charging down the stairs again.
> Me: "Phew, that was fun. Good idea."
> Wife: "..."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-SQB-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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I sewed my dad's hand up after a glass related incident. After an hour or two and a couple drinks, I hear him yelling downstairs, "I FOUND AN IPAD IN THE MEDICINE CABINET!" m.imgur.com/QUpaMIC
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jwidmann
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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My dad shouted downstairs, "There's a big leak at your TV"
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropkickMorgan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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Bought a new hatchet yesterday. Came downstairs to find this note on it this morning.I think my dad is trying to teach me something about putting things away... [xpost /r/funny]
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bieberfan99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
🚨︎ report
A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs"...

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11...

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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