I just found a whip, mask and some handcuffs in my sisters room.
I just had no idea she was a superhero.
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Pun walks into a room with 10 people and kills them all.
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
Why did the pilot get sent to his room
A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
How do people at Hogwarts get into rooms?
No room for discourage-mint 💪💪
I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room
after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.
We were maid for each other.
I wondered why my daughter was throwing all my Stephen King books around the room. And then…
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire...
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
I don't know what to wear to the living room New Year's Eve
What room does a ghost not have in their house?
A living room.
Happy Halloween!
The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???
My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"
Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?
Because they’re hearing aides!
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...
It's always about 90 degrees
I bought my friend an Elephant for her room...
She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it"
I'm in big trouble, you guys. I bought a set of fake pushpins and put them by the bulletin board in the IRS break room.
Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.
I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...
no one believed
it was funny
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room.
They’re currently fighting it out.
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said don’t forget your Baghdad.
I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.
I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.
I was talking to an interior designer recently, who had just designed Adeles gaming room
She said “Adele was a good person to work for, but we had problems with her computer desk. I put it on one side of the room, and Adele got pretty angry.”
She said Adele replied “No! I want to play Halo from the other side”
The past, present and future walk into a room.
How can a room full of married people be empty?
Because there’s not a single person there
So a doctor walks into a patient's room
He says I had to remove your stomach
The patient asks why
He replied man you don't have a stomach for jokes
A couple is sitting in the living room drinking beer
Out of the blue the husband says, “ I love you”
“ Is that you or the beer talking” asks the wife
“It’s me” says the husband “talking to the Beer”
What kind of room do speed racers stay in?
My son was trash talking Jim Morrison, so I sent him to his room.
Nobody slams the Doors in my house
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Why did the aeroplane get sent to his room?
Why did the airplane get sent to his room?
Because of his bad altitude.
What does an empty room and a room full of married people have in common?
You can’t find a single person in it.
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
Because there wasn’t a single person there
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