I just found a whip, mask and some handcuffs in my sisters room.

I just had no idea she was a superhero.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun walks into a room with 10 people and kills them all.

Pun in, 10 dead.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Slaya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the pilot get sent to his room

Bad altitude

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe_mama_89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A horse broke into my room while I was asleep.

It was a nightmare.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one

It was our last resort...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DOU8LEJ480
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
How do people at Hogwarts get into rooms?

Dement-doors

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
No room for discourage-mint πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ad8779
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.

He's a High Priest now.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Neo met Reese Witherspoon in a hotel room

after some time he said goodbye to his friend, Reese Wither

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I wondered why my daughter was throwing all my Stephen King books around the room. And then…

…IT hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire...

It was a hot mess

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know what to wear to the living room New Year's Eve

I might not even go

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What room does a ghost not have in their house?

A living room.

Happy Halloween!

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???

My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness" All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?

Because they’re hearing aides!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schnaffoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the aeroplane get sent to his room?

He had bad altitude

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/argotrevor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the airplane get sent to his room?

Because of his bad altitude.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/licheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
When you get cold, stand in the corner of the room ...

It's always about 90 degrees

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mediumbugger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my friend an Elephant for her room...

She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/studentadvisor101
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm in big trouble, you guys. I bought a set of fake pushpins and put them by the bulletin board in the IRS break room.

Now I'm wanted for tacks fraud.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzus628
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...

no one believed

it was funny

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?

A suite potato.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KomodoJo3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room.

They’re currently fighting it out.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.

I said don’t forget your Baghdad.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junior_bqx2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just discovered the Cantonese culture of doing maths in a dark room at breakfast

Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrubb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to an interior designer recently, who had just designed Adeles gaming room

She said β€œAdele was a good person to work for, but we had problems with her computer desk. I put it on one side of the room, and Adele got pretty angry.”

She said Adele replied β€œNo! I want to play Halo from the other side”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a room.

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How can a room full of married people be empty?

Because there’s not a single person there

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What does an empty room and a room full of married people have in common?

You can’t find a single person in it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenduvo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
So a doctor walks into a patient's room

He says I had to remove your stomach

The patient asks why

He replied man you don't have a stomach for jokes

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brushebrush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?

Because there wasn’t a single person there

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple is sitting in the living room drinking beer

Out of the blue the husband says, β€œ I love you”

β€œ Is that you or the beer talking” asks the wife

β€œIt’s me” says the husband β€œtalking to the Beer”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of room do speed racers stay in?

...Vroom vroom.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eijensama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was trash talking Jim Morrison, so I sent him to his room.

Nobody slams the Doors in my house

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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