BI Den
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaKrypton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone knows Las Vegas is Sin City but are you familiar with Den City?

Mass over volume.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Americans to Trump: Bi den
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/According-Ad8779
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife's sister and her family came to visit but I was hiding in the den. She came in and told me not to be antisocial.

I reminded her that I'm a guy.

That would make me uncle social.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiooiooi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I guess spring is one the way... birds singing, animals emerging from winter dens, trees budding with potential...

What a re-leaf!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
One of the hosts of the View invited me to her home and we sat in her den. She then offered a pillow...

It was a Whoopi cushion.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Den M on r/KenM
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpenSourcePro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't hyenas bring their food back to their dens before they eat it?

It'd be too much carrion'

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever Sweden and Denmark play on a match, the score says SWE-DEN

and the remaining letters are "DEN" and "MARK"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NickWilde992
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the entrance to a wolf's den?

A Howl-way

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Happened last night while watching Den of Thieves with my dad.

Dad: Is that 50 cents?

Me: Yes dad that is 50 cent.

Dad: After this bank robbery he's gonna have to adjust his name for inflation...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DConner777
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.

I said okay... Bi den.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhillala7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A sign at a Nursery...
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PirateboarderLife
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Andy Griffith say when he caught his son taking drugs?

"Opie, um..."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/copenhagen_bram
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.

β€œI live in Spain without the β€˜s’”.

This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.

It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the β€œBah”.

  1. I have a double China without the β€œa”.

  2. Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the β€œan”.

  3. Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.

  4. You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the β€œJ”.

  5. You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the β€œKu”.

  6. Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.

  7. As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the β€œNe”.

All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?

I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the β€œDen”, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anipanreads
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Some Campy Humor

Three men go camping in the wilderness; a German, an Italian and a Czechoslovakian. While asleep, their campsite is attacked by a couple of bears and all 3 men are presumed killed. Forest Rangers get deployed to find the missing campers. After inspecting the campsite, the Rangers discover the bear tracks and follow them to the den. Inside are the 2 bears, a male and a female, which the Rangers quickly kill. First, they opened the stomach of the female and inside were the remains of the German and Italian men.

"Looks like our work here is done," the lead Ranger says to his partner.

"But we only found 2 bodies!" The partner cries back.

The Ranger removes his sunglasses and looks vacantly into the distance before finally telling his partner:

"Clearly the Czech is in the male."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the White House say when Trump left and refused to attend the inauguration?

Ok. Bi-den.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WolfyDaWuf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
When the American president found out that he was sexually attracted to both men and women, what did he say?

I guess I’m Bi Den

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Joe say to Donald on his way out the door?

Bi den

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sync_shark
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend: I like both men and women.

Me: Oh.. so you're Bi-den?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/godoftheneworld
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the 46th president say while taking the White House keys from the 45th on his way out?

Bi den.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DancinOnTheMoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
So you stopped being friends with me as I am a Trump supporter

Well Bi-den

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monty0613
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends said they’d un-friend if I wasn’t a Trump supporter

I told them β€œBi-den”.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I am really fed up with all the president name jokes.

I will just avoid reddit until christmas. They should have gotten old bi den.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillbecomehokage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What will Trump say if Biden wins?

Bi den

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryonnsan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm technically an uncle, but my niece laughed so...

Did you hear about the Cockatiel that was trying to find a new home for his family? He zipped back and forth everywhere, but couldn't find a good spot anywhere. Then he came across a bear, sleeping flat of his back with his mouth wide open. Not recognizing what it was, he thought the bear's mouth would be the perfect spot for a nest. He gathered his family and they all got to work building a new home for themselves, but then the bear woke up. Realizing what was going on, he politely informed them that he couldn't let them nest in his mouth. He hated to do it, but it was quite the bird den to bear.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shatari
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is sweet and walks in the desert?

A Caramel

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franzeyyz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is the world technology driven?

Because God wanted us to live in E-den.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/do_or_dyee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.

We call it our Con Den session.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've started writing German poetry

Could be verse

πŸ‘︎ 263
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imjustmike
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does the NSA hate igloos?

Because they are snow dens.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehNewDrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Abbott and Costello meet Microsoft Windows

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who’s on first?" might have turned out something like this:

Bud Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Lou Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

Bud Abbott: Mac?

Lou Costello: No, the name’s Lou.

Bud Abbott: Your computer?

Lou Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

Bud Abbott: Mac?

Lou Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou.

Bud Abbott: What about Windows?

Lou Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

Bud Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Lou Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

Bud Abbott: Wallpaper.

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/abbott-and-costello-meet-microsoft-windows/

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Think it's easy living in a cold animal house?

Nope! It's a terrible burden. >!Brrr-Den!<

Wasn't sure if this was the place to post, or if I should look for Dad jokes instead.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/like_to_climb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I've invented a device called 'The Baseball'.

I'm thinking of pitching it on Dragon's Den.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Last week, my friends and I ate way too much dim sum

We ate sum dim sum and den sum

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzydoesizzy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's dungerees made from?

Den-im Den-im Den-im

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemurk22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
After watching Netflix's Super Monsters, my 4-yr old daughter asked me: "Where does Lobo (the werewolf) live?"

Me: I don't know, baby.. the monster house?

Her: No. That's wrong.

Me: A wolf den?

Her: No. You're wrong, daddy. He and his dad lives (sic?) in a werehouse!

Gotta say, I annoyingly fell for that one.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wishnana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato with glasses?

A spec-tater.

Pulled this one right out when I told him the NSA igloo joke.

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenofcheebah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Why does the CIA stop working in winter?

Because it will Snow-den

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tritoslp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Most people know that Sin City is Vegas... But do they know what Den City is?

Mass divided by volume

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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