I was thinking about starting a cannabis lounge that serves prime cuts of beef

But the steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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A bunch of guys decided to build a cocktail lounge on top of Pike’s Peak.

It didn’t do as well as hoped. Maybe they set the bar too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mallthus2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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Found in r/lounge. Without a doubt the best comment chain I have seen so far.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoeyFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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A very elderly gentleman, mid ninety's, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge…

Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, mid eighties.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Found this in the study lounge
πŸ‘︎ 169
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zaphyl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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I excitedly entered r/lounge after receiving my first gilding.

It was a golden opportunity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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My wife and kids say I'm lazy because all I do is sit in my lounge chair all day.

I'm half inclined to agree with them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jr_b17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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The Bun Huggers Lounge in Flagstaff, AZ has "additional parking in rear."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddras
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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When furniture shopping, I insisted that we buy a couch and lounge chair separately. We can’t risk getting...

sectionally transmitted diseases!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
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Just bought a new lounge.

Sofa, so good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crazylegs_Ohooley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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So I just got dad joked in /r/lounge about expats. Dialogue within.

Person 1: Neat! Are you visiting or living there?

Me: Living here, but as an expat.

Person 2: Why'd you change your name?

Me: What do you mean?

Person 2: Well it used to be Pat, and now you're an ex Pat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gloriouspenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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Hanging out in a public lounge in my residence hall when suddenly...

A good friend of mine walked in and told me that he had to study for an algorithms final exam in the morning.

I responded that I heard that class wasn't very difficult, isn't that just a class where former presidential candidate Al Gore shows up and lays down some beats for a few minutes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fergmasterflash
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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/r/puns best of 2020 nomination thread!

Edit: Winner:- https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/knrrk1/rpuns_best_of_2020_nomination_thread/ghx6xyy

Welcome to /r/puns bestof 2020 nomination thread! A chance to win reddit premium.

Comment below the links of posts/comments that were exceptional.

  • Post/comment must have been made in the year 2020.

  • Anybody can nominate.

  • One person can nominate maximum of 1 post or comment.

Prizes:

1 month reddit premium (no ads on your feed) and access to the reddit lounge to the exceptional post/comment.

Note: The person who nominates will also get award if the post they nominate is good. (Very likely you will get it :)

All the best!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Saw a cow lounging on my new chaise

It was like nothing I've ever seen. Truly loungendairy!

Sry I'm a mom that makes awful jokes

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Where is your next travel destination?
  • Las Kitchenas
  • Los Lounges
  • Santa Bedroomes
  • Porto Gardenas
  • Los bed
  • Costa Del Balconia
  • St Bathroom
  • La Rotonda De Sofa
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Cracking open a cold one with the boys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PungentMayo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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Lounging banana

I got my kids with this one. While driving through the neighborhood looking at Christmas decorations, we passed an unusual light display.

Kid: Why is there a banana sitting in a chair?

Me: What, do you expect the banana to stand up all night?

(Note: I have no idea why there was a decoration that looked like a banana sitting in a chair)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmfitz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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[Image related] I came, I saw, I freed

Walked into the teacher's lounge and I just had to.

https://i.imgur.com/6MPzcP2.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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A singles bar...

... is also known as a chase lounge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmrtnt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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On Copiers

I work at a school with many buildings. I was in the second floor of a building in the teachers' lounge and two other teachers were talking about how the photocopier in that room sucks. One mentioned that she's only ever going to use the one downstairs. The other teacher said that he refused to use that one. When the first asked him why I couldn't help but say, "Because it's beneath him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pats420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
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My daughter was wearing head phones and plugged the jack in to one of the holes in my belt...

...We were walking through the lounge room with the cord still plugged in to my belt and I said to my wife, "Hey baby! Look at me! I'm a walk-man!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brad-corp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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How Frozen can be a bad thing

My fiance had a grudge over someone and mid argument I thought it was funny to blurt out:

me: "Why can't you just be like Elsa?" fiance: "What?!" me: "Let it go.."

Currently setting up the sofa in the lounge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a6491
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
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A love story

There was a little boy who absolutely loved tractors, so for his 3rd birthday, his father bought him a little toy one. The boy thought this was the best toy he had ever gotten, and ignored all his other gifts to focus on the tractor, pushing it around the lounge whenever he got the chance, making tractor noises etc.

As the boy grows a little bit older, he comes to his 10th birthday, when his dad says "Alright son, you're a little older now, so here you go" before giving him a push-along ride-on tractor for their backyard. The boy thinks this is even better than his now quite old toy tractor, and is taking days off school and everything just to ride around the house and neighbourhood on his push-along tractor.

He gets a little older again, and lo and behold, it's now his 18th birthday. His dad comes up to him during the party and says "Ok son, you're a man now, so here you go" before unveiling a fully functional tractor for his son. "Wow, thanks Dad, this is amazing!" says the son, before taking it for a quick test drive. The tractor becomes his main transport, as he goes to the grocery store and just generally cruises in his brand new tractor.

He decides to take the tractor on it's first proper outing, and goes into the middle of nowhere, with no cell service or house to be seen for miles, and the tractor of course breaks down. It takes him a while to get in touch with AAA and his Dad to come and help him out, so he decides after that experience that maybe it would be a better idea to invest in a car than a tractor after all.

Lo and behold, a few years later, the now adult son is driving down the same road in his new car, although there's now a house there that is engulfed in flames! A lady comes out, screaming "Help! Help! Call 911, my baby is trapped inside!" The man simply stops and says "It's ok, mam, I've got this." He takes in a massive gulp of air, and the entire fire just disappears! The lady says "Wow, that's amazing! How did you do that?!" before the man responds with "Well, you see mam, I'm an ex tractor fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatchyJosh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
🚨︎ report
A dad joke to be proud of...

I was sat in the lounge and my dad walked in. He said to me "I've got some news for you!"

And then handed me a small scrap of newspaper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
🚨︎ report
At a hotel for a wedding

I was at a hotel for my best friend's wedding. After the rehearsal dinner we were in the lounge drinking (with permission from the hotel staff) and I went to the bathroom.

The bathrooms on the lobby level were right next to the ice machine, and we'd heard from another guest they were really fancy. I get back and my friend asks me how they were.

I showed him this picture and said "they were pretty cool"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingcarpet23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
🚨︎ report
Small Medium

So my wife say, showing me a picture on Facebook of the guy she goes to see to get her future told, "This is my medium."

"Looks more like a small to me."

*** Crickets chirp and tumble-weed rolls through the lounge-room ***

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πŸ‘€︎ u/texasdeluxe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
🚨︎ report

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