What is green and lurks through the peephole?

A spynach

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Just when I thought I'd lurk here forever

My daughter has two rats and she loves to take one with her in a small green carrying case. On Saturdays I pick my wife up from Oakland California. She's a bus driver. My daughter comes to me and says, "What are the rats in Oakland called?" Me: "Rats, I guess" Her: "No, they are called hoodrats"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/yilly1972
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
🚨︎ report
Why are peeping Toms are having a difficult time with the pandemic?

Because it’s very hard for them to lurk from home.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see the artist lurking around outside?

He looks kind of sketchy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phrawstt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been lurking for a while now, but now I'm leaving. Here's why...

People kept telling me that lurking was a creepy name.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ez_e11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
🚨︎ report
My proudest dad joke

This actually happened a couple years ago, but I've decided to finally come out if lurking to share it here.

I was on a trip with some friends and we had stopped for lunch. We weren't very busy so my buddy and I shared a plate of wings and a couple pitchers of beer. When it came to pay, the bill was $20.01 (I don't remember how much it actually was, but it was an odd number) and we just split the bill down the middle. When we got our checks, his had the extra penny. We joked about him paying so much more, and so I said I would add an extra penny to my tip, plus one more penny to one up him.

Afterwards when we were walking out my buddy turned to me and said "do you think she'll she even notice?" I said "I like to think that she will notice and maybe chuckle at it. Besides pennies can add up and make a difference, but that's just my 2 cents"

I am not a dad yet. But I definitely feel the fatherly humor running through my veins.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kjc2022
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was browsing Reddit in the living room

when he began to sob into his keyboard. I went over to ask him what was wrong and he told me that despite lurking for years he still couldn't build up enough confidence to ask DIY how to build a fence.

Disappointed I could only say, "Well son, you can't start to build a fence if you can't even create a post."

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ‘€︎ u/Minobus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
🚨︎ report
Blood Test

I now have so much respect for all the jokes in here,

So i just became a dad on Friday to a beautiful baby girl and my story goes like this.

Today a Midwife came into the room where my wife and I were and started with a speech " Hi my name is !editingoutinfo! I was wondering if i can take a blood sample from the baby, It's voluntary, it's for statistics and it gets sent out to a lab and they test for all rare conditions, they are going to test her genes and..."

At which point i stopped her and said "we haven't got any jeans for her, everyone has been buying her pink dresses"

she gave me a pity laugh and said "ohh the dad jokes are starting already"

What is happening to me?

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ‘€︎ u/randazz0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I've browsed this sub for a long time, but I never post anything of my own or comment.

I don't really know what I'm lurking for.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jasperine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.