A list of puns related to "Parlor"
I rubbed one of my clients up the wrong way.
They charge you a lot
For inktertainment.
How's Pizza gonna get a job now?
I figured I'd wait until they work out all the kinks.
A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor, hoping to get something cool drawn onto his shoulder. He walks up to the artist and shows him a picture of what he wants. In large text on a ribbon it says, "Protect and Serve." Below it, is a picture of a a badge, a pair of handcuffs, and a pistol. The tattoo artist is very good at his job, and says he can get this done in one session, so the officer sits down and the artist gets started. A few hours later, the artist is just finishing up, inking the last details of his service weapon. Once the last line is inked on the trigger, the cop gets up from his chair and looks in the mirror to see his new tattoo. His face twists into a look of shock and terror, pulls out his gun and opens fire onto the tattoo artist, killing him in the process. He gets on his radio, calling for backup, and took a defensive position until a few more cops and the police chief showed to the parlor minutes later. The chief, while examining the scene asks the officer, "What the hell? Why did you shoot this guy?" The cop says, "What did you expect me to do? The guy drew a gun on me!"
and says, “Give me two scoops of chocolate.”
The guy behind the counter says, “I’m sorry sir, we’re out of chocolate.”
The man replies with, “well, in that case...hm... give me two scoops of chocolate.”
The guy behind the counter says, “Sir, I’m sorry but we’re out of chocolate.”
The man, thinking hard this time says, “Well, I want two scoops of chocolate.”
The guy behind the counter, now irate, says, “Sir, can you spell the straw in strawberry?”
“S-T-R-A-W”
“Can you spell the van in vanilla?”
“V-A-N”
“Can you spell the fuck in chocolate?”
The man thinks for a second and says, “There is no ‘fuck’ in chocolate.”
The guy behind the counter slaps the countertop with his hand and says, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! There is no fuckin’ chocolate.”
asked what it wants, the panda replies "Any bear-y flavor will do."
To get his balls deflated.
The crust station.
He refused to work on sundaes.
My four-year-old son ran excitedly to the door to greet her. When she opened it, her appearance was startling. She looked like a goth. Her eyes were surrounded with jet-black make-up, with dramatic extra lashes drawn to the sides.
My son let out a shriek and rushed back into my arms for a hug. "What's on Mommy's eyes?" he asked tearfully.
I replied, "Ma scare ya?"
Says, "Make me one with everything."
Gonna name it Head, Shoulders, Kneeds, and Doughs
The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him “This is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.” He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining “jingle bells” in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. “Rudolph” “Frosty the Snowman” “Drummer Boy” even “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” in the best impersonations he’s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. “ No no honey this works watch” he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. “NO honey it really works watch!” “Im going to bed, Merry Christmas” says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. “WAIT Honey, one more time, please!” He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out “CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE”
Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch, he was finally breathing his last.
His son, who loved him dearly and wasn't at all sure if he had been cut out of the will or not, burst into tears at the plight of a man who would look more at home in a red woolly outfit than he ever could in drab, white linen.
"I do not wish to die today, Anthony", he intoned fixing his gaze slightly above his son's left shoulder, "there is something you must do to save me."
"Tell me what to do dad, I can't bear to look at you this way", cried Anthony.
"There is a land, not far from here, where no one ever dies. It is not for dying you see. That is where I must go."
"Where is this place father? Tell me, and I shall take you to it."
"Take me there now", he said faintly as if in great pain, "Take me to, The Living Room."
"Sorry I only know pizza parlor tricks".
Son: Dad! Check out this new tattoo I got at the math-themed parlor! Dad: Oh boy... they really done a number on you, haven't they?
Was on a family vacation to the beach and my sister, mom, dad and I were all in a local Ben and Jerry's getting some ice cream. Well the guy in front of us definitely had the Donald Trump hair going on and we all noticed. Out of nowhere, my dad turns around with a straight face and says,
"I'll pay for the ice cream this time, but you toupee next time."
I couldn't help but laugh and my mother had to walk out of the parlor. These comments are the reason why my father is my best friend
A man visits a tattoo parlor with a rather simple, but strange request. He requests a short, straight line tattooed on his upper arm.
Once the first tattoo heals, he returns, asking for another, exactly the same as the first.
After a few more visits, it becomes clear to the tattoo artist that he's tattooing tally marks on the customer's arm.
Curiosity getting the better of the tattoo artist, he asks, "What are you counting?"
The man answers, "How many tattoos I have."
My mom was showing him pictures of my cousin on her phone that had sent her pictures in front of a famous ice cream parlor back in our hometown. It was the parlor's 9th anniversary and my cousin was pictured in front of a big "9" in the store. My mom was explaining to my dad that the place had been open for 9 years and my dad replies with...
"Wow, that's impressive. How did they get the ice cream to not melt all this time?"
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