Well, I decked the Halls today...

They kept coming over singing those damn Christmas carols. Bah humbug!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I'll never walk down the hall, outside the church, near the courtyard...

I'm cloisterphobic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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Who will be the next baseball player inducted into the Hall of Fame?

Naturally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Why did the city support the music hall being repurposed as a shopping mall?

Harmonic Re-zone-ance

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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There’s a ghost that exclusively haunts city hall in the evening...

He’s a Night Mayor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Found this outside my apartment, must be a HALL-epeΓ±o!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConnanMoody
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Why can fruit not get married at city hall?

Because they cantaloupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuTheLunatic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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My hippy son asked for money for a field trip to the symphony hall

But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was so much history between us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What do you call the number 8 in a concert hall?

An operate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicApollo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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They’ve upgraded the security to hall monitors
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Who has the highest pH of any MLB Hall of Famer?

Al Kaline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Long-Afternoon
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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I tried introducing young people to 80s music especially hall and oats

I didn’t know i was that out of touch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gnocky12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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You like Hall n' Oates?

Cool. Feed my horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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It must be terrifying to have the last name Hall this season.

Everyone's out there trying to Deck the Halls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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Hall Monitor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/casualevils
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says β€œ I hope there’s Halls back at the hotel”.

Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?

Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.

I’m not dad, I’m just baked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craigrets
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Why don’t horses get anything accomplished at their town hall meetings?

They always vote neigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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What do you call a crappy Hall and Oates cover band?

Hollow Notes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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What kind of nails do they use in the rock and role hall of fame?

9 Inch Nails

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coopthecool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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The story of Mike and the dad joke hall of fame

Hello everyone. Today, a 72-year-old man named Mike came into my office. Mike blessed me with many gifts, a sampling of which I would like to share with you all here.

First, Mike asked how I was. I said "good, how are you?" Mike: I had a dream last night I was a muffler. And when I woke up it scared me because I was exhausted.

Mike also has an ex wife. "My Ex wife was so ugly her mom made her go trick or treating by telephone so she didn’t scare the other children."

Not just one ex wife, Mike has two ex wives. "My ex wife was so ugly I used to take her to work with me so I didn’t have to kiss her goodbye"

Mike does a lot of work for various charities. "I asked the lady at a restaurant if I could post my flyer for an event in the window. She said 'that depends, are you a non-profit?' I said 'lady I've got two ex wives, I haven't had profit in 30 years!'"

Those darn ex wives. "I’m so poor a pick pocket tried to rob me the other day and all he got was practice."

Mike actually came to my office to tell me about a basketball camp he's putting on next week. He's been playing basketball for 64 years. "I was a great athlete in high school. I was voted most valuable player by all the cheerleaders."

There was one girl though who got away. "There was a girl who lived down the street and I used to call her all the time and say 'Sarah, can I come over?' and she'd say no. So one day she called & said β€œMike, come over, nobody's home.” So I went to her house and she was right, there wasn’t anybody there."

That girl may be why he didn't play baseball. "I played football, basketball and track. Someone asked me 'Mike, why didn't you play baseball?' I said 'because I was already so good at striking out!'"

Anyways, Mike went on to have a lengthy career in TV and radio, until he didn't. "I had to quit my job for medical reasons. My boss said I made her sick."

Thank you for your time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCisme5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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People in a crowded hall were all exhaling in a competition to see who could exhale the longest. The most illiterate one butted in, saying;

β€œSighs doesn’t matter, guys!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chedderchees
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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My poor old granny was mugged outside the Bingo hall.

She was B 10 and robbed.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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The Great Hall from Harry Potter is so massive it can fit 4 houses in it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gigler198
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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If you follow this link to comments, and check OP's gif, this should be in the hall of fame...

https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/aqpdep/if_at_first_you_dont_succeed/egho6hb?context=1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanucan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Was talking to my wife about heading to the local fire hall for their charity Christmas tree drop-off and chipping...

Me: "Do you know if they are rejecting any trees at the firehall this year?"

Wife: "No...? I haven't heard anything"

Me: "I guess they still have an o-PINE door policy!"

Wife: "I hate you so much right now"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjsidhu23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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What do you call members of the King of the Hill Hall of Fame?

Apex Legends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pinefinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Did you hear that Barry Bonds and Roger Clements didn’t make the hall of fame?

Eh, they had their shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcg5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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β€œGuys, there’s a bat in the halls.”

β€œThere is? Well what are you waiting for? Use it to try to kill that black thing flying around.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObligatoryStory
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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TIL that Daryl Hall and John Oates started out as long-distance truckers

They were haulin' oats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furrthur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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If your name is Faim and you own a house, your hall would be the Hall of Faim.

The Script and will.i.am could be your flatmates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisish2k
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...

..."Don, we now are gay apparel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbattoirOfDuty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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Why did the security director for SDCC impose harsh penalties on heckler in the convention halls?

She had con-troll issues.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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I'm an RA at my college, so I made a hall theme of some of my favorite Dad Jokes.

http://imgur.com/gallery/Pbr9o

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnalogousPants5
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Smashmouth belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

At least that's what somebody once told me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cisco_Kid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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A massacre occurred one day in the town hall....

Everybody wearing Polo, Nike, Ralph Lauren, ect. was killed. After the cops came the they found one survivor and asked him " How'd you survive son?"

"I was wearing under-armor" he replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddis76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2016
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My university's science hall thinks its funny imgur.com/7J07HDM
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SigSawer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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They should make a section in the Hall of Fame for people who have famously cheated in a sport

It'd be called "The Pros and Cons List."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpyroFan-17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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One of my classmates dadjoked a whole lecture hall today

We are in medical pharmacology right now and are starting a series of lectures on chemotherapies. My professor begins the lecture by saying "Who's ready to learn about cancer drugs?!"

This guy gets on the mic, and says, "I'm more of a Libra drug kind of guy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkaega
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
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My dad at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Me: I want to try on the Team Russia jersey...

Dad: Go ahead!

Me: Help me bring them down so I can try the different sizes.

Dad: Why can't you do it yourself?

Me: Just help me so I can check!!

Dad: You said you wanted Russian not Czech.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandudehey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2015
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Wife just booked us a hotel room across the street from Carnegie Hall.

"Well, at least the directions will be easy."

"?"

"Practice, practice, practice. Then left."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omega697
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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The Hall of Deans

So my dad, sister and I all went to go and visit my grandmother (she got moved to hospice this week) at the hospital, and on the entry way it showed a Hall of Deans for the Sanford Medical School/Hospital. Like four busts all in a row. My Dad, whose name is Doug goes, "God, all four of them were named Dean? Where's the Hall of Dougs? Sign me up!"

He had tears coming out of his eyes. I love my family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwingingSalmon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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I should open up a pool hall that serves Vietnamese soup...

I'd call it "Pho Cue"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogredude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2014
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I was at the museum and I saw my ex girlfriend across the hall, but was too self conscious to say hello.

There was too much history between us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw my ex wife from across the hall in a museum...

I was too self conscious to say hello.

I mean there was all this history between us!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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