I awoke this morning to a horrific stench coming from my daughter's crib. /r/TwoSentenceHorror/comm…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevjonesin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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No crib for a bed
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/ive_been_dooped
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Mom: Why is their a strange baby in the crib?

Dad: You told me to change the baby.

πŸ‘︎ 230
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingafer81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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When the pimp's in the crib ma
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/AU55IEAri
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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My newborn passed out face down in his crib. He has a drinking problem

Breastfeeding usually leaves him sheetfaced

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparxican
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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What did baby Bruce Wayne's mommy put over his crib?

A bat mobile!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Why did Superman cancelled today's tinder date?

The girl asked if he wanted to see her crib tonight

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeBAGeNetiC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Why is baby Superman vulnerable at night?

Because he sleeps in his crib tonight

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/microwaveDiamonds
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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What is baby superman afraid of?

His crib-tonyte

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forrest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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My first dad joke as a father!

My first son was recently born 5.5 weeks early (he's doing great!)

As such, we hadn't set up a crib or nursery room yet in our apartment. Sitting around with my wife and aunt last night talking about how stressed we were bringing a new baby home to an apartment where we had no place to put him inspired the following exchange.

Wife: "It was kind of like the baby Jesus...no room at the inn kind of situation." Me: "Yeah, we ended up having to have him spend the night with our goat."


Me again: "I felt really bad for the kid. And our son too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camram07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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It's only natural that us adults stare at our phones all the time...

because as babies, we were taught to stare at the mobiles above our cribs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2016
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First Dad Joke my wife ever laughed at.

I made this up shortly after my daughter was born:

Why was is so hard to put baby Superman down to sleep?

Cause he didn't want to be in his crib tonight.

(read it out loud and cringe)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonschwartz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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I told my dad about a friend's child named Nicholas

He said you should have seen him in a crib. I asked why? he said you don't see Nicholas Caged everyday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drdontlittle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
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