I suddenly couldn't go out and act because I received lots of crates of materials...

I had stage freight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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My friend knows me so well. He’s bought several crates of Czech lager and has invited me over...

That definitely apPils to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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The nurse in the hospital gave me an entire crate of the wrong medicine AND it was outdated! I almost died!

I got a bad case of poison I.V.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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A Safeway truck spilled a crate of strawberries on the highway today.

It created a real traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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Some thieves stole 50 crates of Red Bull from my local store

I don't know how they sleep at night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GladstoneBrookes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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My puppy refused to be put back in his crate for bedtime.

He was charged with resisting a rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropLeMic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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What do New Englanders call a crate full of dentures?

A mass of chew sets (think Massachusetts).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phallivore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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Saw this pot rack at Crate and Barrel...

My dad called it a Pan-Tree.

http://i.imgur.com/rOsIFt3.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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I had some really delicious cheese yesterday

it was crate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?

Never mind it’s a sea-crate....

(I made this up please don’t murder me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubsAli
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Me: Dude! Come with me to the storage! I organized all the philosophy theses into plastic boxes with hanging files!

Unimpressed Friend: So, Crates...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Greek philosophers have strange names
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dagobertdoc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Dad joke #1 for me! My dad is learning... Oh lord.

My dad called me out of my room, asked me what I was doing and I told him I was revising (insert quote marks around that for yourself if you'd like). He asks me to look in the car and there's a whole crate full of packets of salt that are all leaking. That sounds weird, and to be honest it is, but my dad works at a supermarket and gets to take home faulty merchandise so I though nothing of it. He asks me to move it all into the garage, so I do so.

Then he tells me: "Actually, put it in the shed". Now I'm confused since we don't have a shed, and so I asked him what he meant. He tells me, "The one in the old house". We own two houses - our first one, and our new one, so I thought alright that's enough; the house is a half-hour walk and I honestly cannot be bothered for him asking me to walk that half an hour whilst I could be revising so I get a bit mad and just tell him straight.

He gives me a little smile and just says "Don't get salty and start shedding tears, I'll do it then". He gives me a little smile and just walks off. I'm honestly so glad I'm moving away for uni next year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChardRardZard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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Hadn't heard this joke before.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes"

"Oui"

"SΓ­"

"Ja"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerdude26
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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A wooden box was floating in the sea and no body knows it. Why?

Because it's a sea-crate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hindold
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
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Just got my boyfriend while driving home for Thanksgiving.

Me: Are we allowed to crate through work zones?

Him: What?

Me: Are we allowed to crate through work zones?

Him: I don't even know what you're saying...

Me: Well I just saw a sign that said 'Don't barrel through work zones', so can we crate through them?

Him:... Get out. Get out of my car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riyomiharu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
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Dadjoked a coworker.

I work at a retail grocery store in the deli. I am also 6'7". I was tasked with detailing our warmer and I was working on the bottom part. Getting down is my natural enemy so I was sitting on a milk crate. Coworker from meat department comes over and asks if we had his squeegee. We did so I told him. He said, "For shame, you should feel bad." I then told him, "You're going to judge me while I'm at my lowest?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinkleheimer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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The first of what I'm sure are to be many front-page worthy posts... Such are the jokes of my dad.

Ok so my Dad was helping me move into my new uni accommodation last month and in the process we had to carry a lot of heavy boxes up my rather steep stairs.

Understandably, being a man in his 50's, he was a little bit worn out after lugging several metre-by-metre crates up to my room, generally full of heavy electrical equipment and books. After letting out a deep sigh he exhaled - 'Crikey, this is like the Great Stairs Crisis of 1965!'.

To my knowledge, or indeed to anyone else's knowledge (including my dad's), so such crisis ever occurred. I just hope he didn't hear my housemate sniggering in his room downstairs*; he does love a good dad joke.

*Ironically I've noticed that laughing at Dad jokes tends to make said Dad more depressed than when you don't, since they're usually fully aware of how bad their joke is and laughing at it only serves to remind them of the fact that people are actually paying attention to the regrettable nonsense which often leaves their mouths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PantuTheDog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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