So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
I like to keep all my bases covered.
They are top aware.
I’m expecting to have a bad thyme.
I said "Maybe you should put it in the vegetable drawer"
Then he left and the door was ajar.
Because people always finnish their meals.
But I can!
Oh no you dropped your phone in the fish bowl now it’s gunna be all wet
That's what really seals the dill.
...that way, the door is always ajar.
It was a sorted affair.
Yoo-hoo hoo in a bottle of rum!
I said, "whatever boats your float."
That's really the Wurst Case Scenario
They are in her mammary box
Because it's propain
He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me
...he gave me some sage advice.
A barrel of laughs.
Because it said “concentrate”
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
Is also my mother's father's brother's cistern
When I asked if he counted them all, he said if he added one more it will be “too farty”
A brief case
I looked at it and said “So... you need me to... Open Sesame?”
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
I wanted flawless jugstaposition.
It was really jarring!
I asked him why he was doing that.
He said "it says concentrate!"