π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 23 2015
Bad packaging
I recently spied a bag of gummy worms which said βNo Artificial Flavorsβ.
Which got me to wondering: who is buying gummy worms hoping theyβll tast like real worms?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2021
Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
π︎ 89
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
My girlfriend and I were making macaroni and cheese today. Before showing her my method of re-packaging the Velveeta, I said to her...
Donβt worry, Iβve been around the block a few times in my day.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 01 2018
Apparently the grammar on tobacco packaging costs money.
My friend was very annoyed about the extra he had to pay for the "syn-tax".
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 05 2016
Does anyone want a package of dead batteries?
π︎ 63
π
︎ May 24 2021
My wife tried to buy an exotic snake on line. When the package arrived, it only contained feather scarves.
Looks like, the boa cons tricked her.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
My friend said he got a package containing soaps from around the world...
But it was a pack of lyes.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 21 2021
How did the detective describe the mysterious package he received?
He said it was an open and shut case.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
The most important part of a mail pun, is the delivery.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
I just opened a package from my dad which contained canned ham.
He told me it was his first attempt at spam mail.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Hey MC Snow, your wifeβs package has been delivered.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, βnow my package isnβt coming for another 5 days!β
I replied, now you know how I feel.
π︎ 294
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?
Because it was de-livered.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I bought a package of trail mix and it only had cashews, almonds, and pistachios.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
I let my out of town girlfriend know her vegetable service delivered a package today and I had some bad news.
She asked what had happened to it,
I told her the box had a leek in it.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
The U.S. needs to stop selling pre-packaged shredded cheese!
Make America Grate Again!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...
...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
My fiancΓ© just said this one. Me: A package came for our cat today.
FiancΓ©: Oh, I didn't realise she was ordering packages.
Me: She must've gone to the bank to get herself a debit card.
FiancΓ©: Nah, she just went to the neighbours tree.
Me: Huh?
FiancΓ©: The local branch.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
Hereβs your package
πββοΈThanks mailman
πββοΈYouβre welcome female woman
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...
They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
My mail carrier got a sex change, so now she's really a post-man ...
guess she had the wrong package.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Dec 19 2019
How do you get a cat to deliver a package?
You call USPSpspspspspspsps.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 02 2020
I jokingly asked my mailman if they test all packages for coronavirus, but he didn't laugh, and now I'm not receiving any letters.
I think my delivery may be off.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
Guess the Visual Pun
π︎ 86
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!
It will be bursting with flavor!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
I was running down the aisle to grab the last package of toilet paper, but I slipped and fell before someone else grabbed it.
You could say I completely wiped out.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
How do you package French bread?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 14 2019
Two ants seemed to be having a race on a package.
A 3rd ant joined, and beat them both, and started gloating about it.
The two ants said, "that wasn't a race. We were just following instructions."
The 3rd ant asked, "what instructions?"
The two ants said, "see right here, it says 'tear across dotted line.'"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Found a nice self-contained, already packaged one for y'all!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
Whatβs the new FedEx and UPS merger going to be called?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I ordered a self help tape called, "How to handle disappointment."...
When the package came....the box was empty.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
100% certain
Me: Are you sure the small package will completely cover my house for potential intruders?
Security company: Verisure!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I worked with this guy Rob once...
...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.
He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.
"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
My transformation is almost complete
So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)
Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"
My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"
...Pls send help
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...
Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
π︎ 102
π
︎ May 13 2020
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