As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head
It's awful to see someone you love mugged.
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
Some guy coated all his cups and plates in black varnish.
You might say he japanned his china.
The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup
I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet
How do you know if you're in a cafe that makes a real good cup of tea?
How do cups get their money?
Two man walk into a coffee shop, one of them orders a Cup of Tea and starts stripping.
The man behind counter says: what the hell is this?
To which the second man says: he's new to Tea
Drinking a stranger's cup of tea...
...is really not my cup of tea.
While at Starbucks, I said I didn't want the sippy cup lip.
They gave me my drink and said "this is the last straw."
Optimist: "That cup is half full."
Pessimist: "That cup is half empty."
Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"
Itty bitty t-cup committee
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I've never been prouder.
I spilled my cup...
... and all I got was this tea shirt
My wife heated up a cup of coffee "just for me"
Anyone for a drink? A nice cup of tee?
Someone offered me a nice cup of green tea
So naturally I said yes, matcha-bliged
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…
Someone stole my coffee cup.
Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots.
A Native American man drank 500 cups of tea in one sitting
Nearly drowned in his own teepee
So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, “where do I drop it off?”
She says, “Go in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -“
“Don’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?
Get it? Or it isn't your cup of tea?
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?
He has no need for glasses.
The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
What did the dad say to his son who wouldn't shut up about buying him a cup so he could play sports?
I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car
My wife's bra has the brand name "Splendid", embroidered on the band under one of the cups ...
I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.
A man started beating me with a cup and stole my wallet.
A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"
GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."
MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"
GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...
When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!
I explained to my wife, "Darling, it doesn't matter if your cup is half full or half empty, my point is..."
"You need to buy a different size bra!"
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
My name is Joe. I'm a cup of me.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
I spilled my cup...
... and all I got was this tea shirt
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
