So I’m reffing a local puppy bowl (where a bunch of puppies up for adoption play “football” with each other). As the ref I need to say funny football puppy puns whole time such as “ruffing the passer”. Any ideas on good football puppy puns? Thanks.
So I had to pack up a bowl at work today and while i was doing so i annoyed my coworkers with every bowl based pun i could think of
"Hey guys, if we put doritos in here would they have a BOWLder flavor"
"If i lost all my hair would I have gone BOWLD"
"we could fill this with rocks and call this a BOWLder"
"I really like the music of David BOWLie"
"we can slide this at some pins and call it BOWLing"
"what if we were sending this back to BOWLing green Kentucky"
"we can fill it with air and call it a BOWLoon"
"I'm just trying to fit in guys, all i wanna do is BOWLong"
"Of course i think you're telling the truth, i guess you can say I BOWLieve you"
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
Chicken sees a salad
But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
Jane Spencer: Goodyear? Frank: No, the worst. (Courtesy of Naked Gun)
It was a queso mistaken identity.
I said, "Why? You're cell phone tells time."
Now he’s a chili dog.
It was assault and batter, eh?
I'm serious, it made the news headlines "Cereal killer sixth victim"
It should be a metaphor for constipation
It was surreal.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in.
Even between the laughing and joking, the women in front of me insisted that we swap places, so I could get mine first.
I thought to myself at last a decent punchline
You know what they say, Margaret. "Thyme heals all wounds".
I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.
Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!
Only afterwards did I realize I cut off the punchline
Now’s when you ask: where’s the punchline?
Q: Did you hear that U of Alabama's library burned? A: It's true! They lost all 3 of their coloring books!
Q: What do you call a beautiful girl on campus at U of A? A: A visitor!
Q: What do a maggot and a U of A fan have in common? A: They can both live off a dead bear for twenty years.
Q: How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 80,001. 1 to change the bulb, 80,000 to talk about how great the old lightbulb was.
Q: How do you make Alabama cookies? A: Put em in a bowl and whip em for 60 minutes.
Q: Did you hear Saban was going to dress up 20 players for the Iron Bowl? A: The rest will have to dress themselves.
Q: Alabama is changing their mascot to the Opossums. A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What do Alabama players get on their SATs? A: Drool.
Unfortunately, in my soup, there was Noel.
Me: Did you just take all of your dad's mussels?
Her, grinning: Yup!
Me: Isn't that a little shellfish?
(Explosion of laughs from the children and eye rolls from the adults)
Breakfast of champinions
I said, "I didn't know he could!"
I said “I didn’t know he could.”
“Didn't even know he played cricket" I replied
A chicken sees-a-salad