yes , synonym rolls
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︎ Aug 21 2020
I had a happy childhood, dad would roll me down the hill in a tire
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Mmm.. Synonym rolls
..The way old Grammar used to make them.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"
My response: "144? That's a gross"
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︎ Mar 16 2020
I love synonym rolls.
They're just like cinnamon rolls. Only spelled different.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Some think dad jokes make just roll your eyes. But they are actually awesome. And here is why.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Why did the baker switch to dog shaped rolls?
He always wanted a purebred.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
I told my wife a dad joke and she gave me two eye rolls...
Normally, she rolls only one eye. π΅
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
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︎ May 31 2020
What do you call the same thing as a cinnamon roll?
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Grammar made the best synonym rolls
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Why did the toilet roll go down the hill?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
How do you make an egg roll?
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︎ Jun 29 2020
So I said to Arnie: "Where did you get those toilet rolls?"
He said: "Aisle B, Back."
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Synonym rolls only make your vocabulary fat!
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︎ Apr 08 2020
Thereβs this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.
My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece
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︎ May 29 2020
When you roll in from a night out but you're tyred so you just sit down in the garden slumped against the wall
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︎ May 19 2020
I donβt always roll a joint but when I do...
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︎ Mar 20 2020
I bought a roll of over priced Velcro yesterday
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︎ Apr 15 2020
A really want a Vietnamese roll.
But they Bahn Mi from going outside.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
I am on a roll, I mean what are circles...
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︎ Apr 26 2020
"Dad, why do scuba divers roll backward off boats?"
"Because if they rolled forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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︎ May 17 2020
How do you make a cheese roll
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︎ Apr 24 2020
I ran out of toilet roll so am reduced to wiping my butt with lettuce leaves.....
I fear it's just the tip of the iceberg.
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︎ Mar 19 2020
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says...
"Pint please, and one for the road
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︎ May 12 2020
The honorable baker walked into a room full of rolls
"All rise."
The baker said humbly, "you don't need to do that." The rolls responded:
"It's the yeast we can do."
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︎ Apr 13 2020
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
Heβs now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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︎ Jun 04 2019
I put the last roll of toilet paper on the dispenser today.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Single man with toilet roll seeks single woman with hand sanitizer..
Looking for good clean fun!
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︎ Mar 23 2020
How do you make a Swiss roll?
Just push them down a slope
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︎ Mar 27 2020
How many pennies in a roll of pennies have a Lincoln face?
It's actually one per cent.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
Tried this on daddit and it was not well received, got a hard eye roll and a giggle from my daughter, am I doing this right? I need some help with my leeky bowl.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
So, I said to Arnie Schwarmaswagger, "Where did you get those toilet rolls?"
He said, "Aisle B, back."
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︎ Apr 07 2020
They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.
Just dont put it your back pocket.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
I saw this fish the other day holding a roll of chicken wire...
... I thought, that makes sense, itβs a swordfish, theyβre good at fencing.
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︎ Mar 14 2020
I was on a roll yesterday
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︎ Sep 25 2019
Iβm on a roll here with all these puns guys
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︎ Dec 05 2019
What do you get when you eat too many ciabatta rolls?
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︎ Feb 01 2020
Just roll with it
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︎ Jun 02 2019
Two mice were chewing on a film roll.
One of them says, βI think the book was better.β
Credit: Tiny Tower Bitbook
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︎ Jan 30 2020
A stone with a lot of achievements is a roll model.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
Rock and roll. . .
Or what ever comes first ;)
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Bad puns are how eye roll
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︎ May 04 2019
FiancΓ© dropped a roll of tape..
He stepped on it and said to his coworker βoh shit! You caught me on tapeβ
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︎ Jan 17 2020
Autobots, roll out
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︎ Apr 16 2019
I still remember my childhood quite fondly, when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.
Those were the Good Years.
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Rock & Roll
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︎ Aug 19 2019
On my roll of candy
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︎ Nov 06 2019
Guac n roll
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︎ Oct 06 2019
My stoner friend used my daily planner to roll up a jointβ¦
Heβs now high on my list of priorities.
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︎ Aug 14 2019
My mother told me that the only musicians more promiscuous than rock and roll artists were jazz musicians.
Because they were always having sax.
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Whatβs an actors favorite sushi roll?
βI-hope-I-get-thisβ roll
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︎ Dec 24 2019
When the new year rolls around, I need new glasses.
I need to be able to see in 2020.
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︎ Sep 08 2019
An unsatisfied chicken lays in bed smoking a cigarette next to an egg that rolls to its side embarrassed
Chicken: Well I guess we solved that riddle
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︎ Sep 29 2019
Bad puns are how eye roll.
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︎ Sep 13 2019
Dad, why do scuba divers roll backwards off the boat?
Because, son, if they rolled forwards they'd still be in the boat.
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︎ May 01 2018
My stoner friend used my daily agenda notebook to roll up a joint.
He is now high on my list of priorities.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
Leaf no stone unturned until all heads roll.
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︎ Nov 23 2018
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, and cross the road again?
It was a dirty double crosser.
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︎ Oct 24 2019
What do you call 1000kg of egg rolls?
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︎ Oct 20 2019
One of my favorite childhood memories is when my dad used to roll us down the hill inside of a tire.
Those were the Goodyears.
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︎ Sep 24 2019
I was on a roll last night.
My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:
Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)
Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )
Then during bathtime:
Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)
Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)
Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)
Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolut
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
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︎ Oct 13 2019
I never expected the vintage movie I was watching to end with everyone doing a dance popular in the early 60s which is inspired by rock and roll.
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Iβm ready to wok and roll.
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︎ Jun 02 2018
I donβt always roll joints...
But when I do itβs usually an ankle
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︎ May 07 2019
My chat full of childless Dad's were on a roll
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︎ Mar 28 2019
Is that a sushi roll in your pocket?
Or are you just happy sashimi?
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︎ Sep 03 2019
My wife left me because I used too many loo rolls.
I couldn't help that it all went to shit.
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︎ Sep 15 2019
I have fond memories of my childhood when Dad used to roll us down a hill inside spare car tires.
Those were the Good Years.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
I remember our childhood quite fondly. My favorite memory is when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.
Those were the Good Years.
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︎ Feb 08 2019
What do you get when you roll a joint with a page from the dictionary?
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Why did the orange only roll half way down the hill?
He ran out of juice!
ππ₯€
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︎ Sep 01 2019
Dad jokes are how eye roll!
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︎ Aug 21 2019
I recently heard that the agriculture industry will be discontinuing baling hay in big rolls
The livestock canβt get a square meal!
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︎ Sep 09 2019
Made my 11 yr old laugh and my wife roll her eyes this kornint. It was a good day.
My 2 yr old is constantly dropping small toys down the grate on the air return and a couple rolled out if site. This morning, I stuck my head down it and found a couple the had been missing for a couple weeks. Yay, dad!
My wife told me "She likes to drop her toys down there when she's angry."
I told her "you can't be upset. She's just venting!"
Groans and laughs ensued.
Edit: "this morning." What the hell is a kornint?
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︎ Apr 02 2017
On the dad joke scale, I got my first ever eye-roll and sharp exhale WITH a walk out of the room from my wife!
Me: Today was an awful day at work
Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it
Me: Iβm not Sirius, Iβm your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomezβs cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...
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︎ Aug 22 2019
A man walked into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He said to the barman " a pint of beer please".
....and one for the road.
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︎ Aug 16 2019
I heard my wife's eyes roll through text...
Wife: Stopping at the bar for a drink after work.
Me: Would you bring some whiskey home?
Wife: 10-4
Me: = 6
Edit: this particular bar has a liquor store up front.
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︎ Sep 01 2018
I had a happy childhood, my dad used to put me in a tyre and roll me down the hill...
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︎ Aug 24 2019
What do you do when someone rolls their eyes at you?
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︎ Aug 11 2019
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It needed to get to the bottom.
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︎ Sep 10 2019
How do you make a sausage roll?
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︎ Jun 19 2019
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︎ Jun 11 2019
A teacher is taking roll call in a classroom of sweet potato students. The teacher asks "is John here?"
John raises his hand, "I yam."
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︎ Jun 08 2019
What is a cinnamon rollβs favorite holiday?
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︎ Aug 23 2019
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be daft," I replied. "A toilet is a stationary object."
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︎ Jul 08 2019
I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire.
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︎ Aug 24 2019
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Why did the chicken cross the road roll in the mud and then cross back over the road
Because he was a dirty double crosser
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Why did the toilet roll, roll down hill?
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︎ Sep 24 2019
I still remember fondly the times dad used to roll us down the hill inside tires.
Those were the Good Years.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
I donβt always roll a joint
But when I do, itβs my ankle
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︎ Apr 25 2019
How do you make an egg roll?
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︎ May 19 2019
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