I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills

Those were goodyears

πŸ‘︎ 431
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gotblake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
When I was first learning Photoshop I got a bit creative. I could hear my friends roll their eyes.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Germerican1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
I still remember my childhood quite fondly, when dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...

I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why Did The Toilet Paper Roll Down The Hill?

To get to the bottom

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djendb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
My friend wasn't happy with his new car, so I said "Dude, just roll with it".
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeoMap73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a meme on r/golf. It slow rolls a dadjoke. Please enjoy.

Link to post

Please know the scorecard isn't mine. I shamelessly stole that from google search.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Purdueblue17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
The first company to rename their dinner rolls "gravy mops" is really going to clean up.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OtakuShogun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, I had such a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down the hill.

They were the Goodyears

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sterntoothz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
So I went to my local astrology group and was asked to take roll call. And wouldn’t you know it?

All the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckinTheCarma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
How do you make a sausage roll

Push it down the hill

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoswede
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How to make a delicious pumpkin roll v.redd.it/3b8hzbg5vxs51
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PigPopcorn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Eye roll upto the brain
πŸ‘︎ 195
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?

Elvish

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Do any of you have experience making Moroccan Rolls?

I found a recipe in a magazine but I wasn't sure about it because the recipe calls for thyme and a bunch of other spices. I had them all, but unfortunately they were all expired. I decided to make them anyways, took them to a party, and they ended up all being eaten, everyone thought they were delicious. I guess what they say is true.

People love that old thyme Moroccan roll.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?

Seasoning

πŸ‘︎ 654
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Louis_T_252
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Synonym rolls...

Just like grammar used to make.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Purr Riff A Roll
πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy shooting paper towel rolls in the wild?

He was a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
yes , synonym rolls
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v4ib
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.

They were doing it in a-bun-dance.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I never roll my eyes at people.

I only roll my R’s.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"

My response: "144? That's a gross"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Mmm.. Synonym rolls

..The way old Grammar used to make them.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a happy childhood, dad would roll me down the hill in a tire

those were goodyears!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t often roll joints...

But when I do it’s usually my ankle

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sigge02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.

Those were Goodyears

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunk98
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....

Those were the GOODYEARS.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffro4140
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I love synonym rolls.

They're just like cinnamon rolls. Only spelled different.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bandjock649
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker switch to dog shaped rolls?

He always wanted a purebred.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzr171
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Grammar made the best synonym rolls
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/E-4-Epic-24
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Synonym rolls only make your vocabulary fat!
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLisaShow2020
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Some think dad jokes make just roll your eyes. But they are actually awesome. And here is why.

###Y

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeSpatula
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.

He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t always roll a joint but when I do...

It’s my ankle.

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cassshea1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the same thing as a cinnamon roll?

A synonym roll.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the toilet roll go down the hill?

To get to the bottom...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olisticu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife a dad joke and she gave me two eye rolls...

Normally, she rolls only one eye. 😡

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a roll of over priced Velcro yesterday

It was a rip off

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Maguire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make an egg roll?

You push it down hill!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hossamus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.

My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
When you roll in from a night out but you're tyred so you just sit down in the garden slumped against the wall
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustardbyname
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran out of toilet roll so am reduced to wiping my butt with lettuce leaves.....

I fear it's just the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrFabulous0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A really want a Vietnamese roll.

But they Bahn Mi from going outside.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I am on a roll, I mean what are circles...
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSigmaNut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember my childhood quite fondly, when Dad used to roll us down the hill inside car tires.

Those were the Good Years.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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