It's a hall monitor.
Would that make me Roman?
A prostitute goes to the dad, and he notices her coming his way. He quickly closes his son's eyes.
Son: Dad, what was that woman wearing?
Dad: Uhh, nothing.
They’re nomads
While wandering around he bumps into a old man in robes cooking.
With a grin the drunk man asks “Are you the fish friar?”
“No brother” he replied “I’m the chip monk”
A Meanderthal
A romaine Catholic priest.
A zombee.
Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"
"Yes you are"
Roam-eo.
The steaks have never been so high…
The stakes have never been so high
It was the fall of the roamin' umpire.
I guess he’s just Biden his time.
The dispatcher replied, “So... no shirt, no shoes, no cervix?”
A "roamin" Catholic.
Because they're Roman.
The doctor says “He’s alright” The nurse follows “There’s nothing left!
The steaks were high
But it was a Mirage...
She was a roman catholic.
A gandering gander
One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"
*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.
A meanderthal.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
He was a blessing in disguise
• you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
• you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure you’ll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
• you change your car’s oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
• mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
• you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
• your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.
Oops, wrong sub.
There's always a Roamin Catholic.
he said he was just ROME-ing around!
Wander Woman.
A guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. He didn't do any of that shit."
Wander Woman
She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”
He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. “Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”
“No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. “Her name is Sally and she’s selling batteries.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes,” he replied. “She sells C cells by the Seashore.”
They came in search of their adopted child. They ask the bartender, “Hey, have you seen a small boy wandering around town looking lost? Sandy hair, blue eyes? He wandered off while we were catching some waves.” The bartender thinks for a second, then shakes his head and says, “Nope, sorry bros. I just clocked in, but my coworker Fred is packing up now if you wanna check with him. He’s the one with the mustache by the door.” The couple walk over to the mustached man putting on a coat getting ready to leave, and inquire the same thing from him. Fred replies, “Now that you mention it, I think he came up to the counter a little while ago looking for you guys. I told him to come back in about 20 minutes when my shift ends so I can help him look around, but that was like half an hour ago. I’ve been waiting a little while, but I was just getting ready to leave.” Suddenly, the man points behind the surfer guys and exclaims, “Here comes the son, Dude and Dude 2!”
Would I be roamin'?
She was a roman catholic.
A Meanderthal!
A meanderthal
A Meanderthal
A roamin' Catholic.
A meanderthal!
