The streets were oddly desserted that night.
The cupcake got creamed.
Me: "I'm making everyone a cupcake for my birthday."
Dad: "What if they don't want to be made into a cupcake?"
So we were having a handball tournament where we were allowed to name our own teams. So before the finals game, one of my coaches says "The two teams in the finals are the "brownies" and the "cupcakes"." Then my other coach, who is older and a dad, goes "sounds like a sweet deal"
My daughter tells me after putting in the cupcakes we're making. I entered 5:26
Daughter is looking at me weird, I say get it? Daughter groans... Mission accomplished.
Yesterday, we had a birthday for my daughter. Her cupcakes had her nickname (Mae, like mine) on three, a letter per cupcake. She ate the A.
Around 10ish this morning I realized only M and E were left. So I knew exactly what I wanted to do..
When my son came home from school, he asked what after school snack was.
Me "I was gonna say cupcakes, but they have my name on them"
Him "...M and E?"
Me "uh, yeah. That's ME."
My niece (3) was showing us all of her toys, one of which was toy a cupcake tin. The joking commenced. Mom: Oh wow that's really cool, you could make some neat cupcakes with this.
Me: Yeah its really awesome.
Mom: Just put some play doh (Plato) in here and you're all set.
Me: What if you put some Aristotle in there?
Mom: typical eye roll and mom groan
As a father of three, by far my favorite Dad Joke has to be claiming things as my "Dancer Names". I have at least one or two a week.
It's whenever someone says something in conversation which sounds like it could be a Stripper name. Off the top of my head, here are some I've used:
"Yummy Cupcakes", "Pansy Taboo", "Stamen Fuzz", "Dark Almond", "Squeeze Bacon", "Bolt Upright"
I'll often follow it up with a hint as to what that show may just be like.
Guy on television: "The bee is now covered in stamin fuzz..."
Me: "'Stamen Fuzz' is my dancer name. Quite a show; not for the allergic."
I look around the lunch room for a plate, but all I can find are cups. As I walk out with my cake people look at me strange saying "A cup?"
My friend chimes in: "Yea, It's a cupcake"
He's going places...
I was snapchatting a friend of mine and I started talking about this purple yam (or ube) cupcake I was eating
Friend: Is purple yam actually good?
Me: Yep! It's very yam-y
-6 seconds later-
Me: I'm sorry that was uncalled for.
I still haven't gotten a reply, so worth it though
I was out getting food with my mock trial team and we went to a place called Jones Bros which was a cupcake and coffeeshop. I got a coffee called the "Nirvana Carmel Latte". After I sat down, my friend asked me how it tasted. I said "It tastes like teen spirit".