Everytime my dad sees someone pushing a pram...

"HEY YOU!! Stop pushing that kid around!!"

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Sep 19 2013
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I took my young son for a beer today for the first time.

I got him a Budweiser, but he didn't like it. So I drank it. I tried him on Coors and he hated that too. So I drank that too. Same thing with Guiness and Whiskey. I was doubling up on everything and he was happy with Apple juice.

By the time we started on vodkas, I was way too drunk to push his pram home.

👍︎ 59
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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ May 03 2021
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Some quality Christmas dad jokes.

Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under the car? A: He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

Q: What kind of cough medicine does Dracula take? A: Coffin medicine.

Q: What animals need oiling? A: Mice, because they squeak.

Q: How does Jack Frost get to work? A: By icicles.

Q: What do hedgehogs have for lunch? A: Prickled onions.

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles? A: A jelly-baby.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/14andy4
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
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