If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced…

"BOOM?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Womb-mates is an acceptable term for twins
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvl100mafia_boss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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The immaculate conception? The Holy Spirit was in the womb where it happened.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/innerstrife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What’d the baby in the womb say after 9 months?

β€œIght, ima head out”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbrasky43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itbehabib
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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First one in the womb, wife reading parenting book.

Wife: "you should probably read this when I am done so we can be on the same page."

Me: "how will we be on the same page if you've already finished the book?"

I think I already have this dad stuff down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zrockstar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2016
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I was telling my father about the first baby born from a transplanted womb...

He turns to me and says " Well, there's always womb for improvement."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsquarius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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How big is the mothers womb?

It's infantant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanillanesquik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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My sister had to have surgery today. Honestly the puns leave womb for improvement.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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You know why no one can remember being in the womb?

Because of the amnesia-atic fluid.

>Guaranteed current dad and soon to be grandpa joke as I just overheard my dad inform my brother and his pregnant wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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I have cancer of the womb.

I’m afraid it’s fetal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MalteseFarrell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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When BeyoncΓ© was in her mother's womb...

Her name was Pre-oncΓ©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papatheodorou
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
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What Did The Hungry Twins Say To Their Mom In Her Womb?

Fetus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffDaPie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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My son was born at womb temperature.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AZDiablo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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I am going to my Womb

Okay lets be clear this is more of a Mom joke, but it is a Dad joke of a Mom. Now that's out of the way I was over at my friend's house, his parents are pretty funny and this joke is about his parent and not mine own.

So my friend has a four year old sister and she was mad because she couldn't have soda, so she threw a four year old fit. Her dad comes up to her and tells her she can have a cup of water. She starts crying and yells "I am going to my Womb", as four year olds can't pronounce Rs. Her Mother appears from her room and screams "Hey once you're out, you're out. There is no coming back in" The Dad who was doing his poker face breaks and starts crying laughing, so does everyone else but the daughter who just looks confused. After a few seconds we calm down and she says it again and storms off, as we chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/e-duncan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,

β€œthank you for your cervix.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar

A heavily pregnant woman walks into a bar in the middle of summer and orders a big glass of ice water. "Boy it's a scorcher out there," she says to the bartender. "Sometimes I wonder if it is too hot for the little guy in here." "Oh I wouldn't worry about it," the bartender replies. "It's probably just womb temperature."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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What's the best thing about being a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johno_mendo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Why did one twin refuse to live with his brother?

Because he was a terrible womb-mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jill_of_the_Hill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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My daughter recently found a photo of her in the hospital when she was a baby

She noticed a blanket and asked if it was womb temperature. I laughed and thought she’d make a great dad one day while my wife tried to not smile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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When I was born, I sure was relieved

I was running out of womb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Mother
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Why was Jesus born in a stable?

There was no womb in the inn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/littleallred008
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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9 months isn't really that long

It only feels like a maternity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant

Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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My wife, who's eight months pregnant, asked me if I worry that it's been too hot recently for our baby inside her. I reassured her...

β€œNah, it’s probably womb temperature!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.

So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What do gamers call doctors who perform C-sections?

Womb raiders

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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A friend of mine decided to become a surrogate mother.

She said she had womb to spare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Why do midwives never stop learning?

They think there's always womb for improvement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test things, tucked behind the cupboard...

... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?

He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

Finally, he could take it no longer...

"Bethany..." he said

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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My daughter won her first race

In her mother's womb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say

that our baby was in his one womb apartment.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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What part of the house do Fetuses like the most?

The living womb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lego_luke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it is Dr. Whom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.

After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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When Dumbo’s mom was pregnant, no one would talk about it.

It was the elephant in the womb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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One of my mother's friends asked if she could be a surrogate

I guess she was just looking for a womb for rent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4x4Welder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I wanted to have sex with my wife

So I asked her if I could go play in the kids' womb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHolySpook
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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I asked a zoologist about the gestation period of pachyderms... .

He said he didn't want to talk about the elephant in the womb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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Dad joked my friends pregnant wife

Friends Wife: I wonder if its really hot in there for the baby? Me: It's likely womb-temperature.

My proudest moment of 2013 and had to share!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlienBL00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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My pregnant wife just asked me if I think her tummy is going to get bigger for the next time she gets pregnant.

Me: "Of course it will get bigger"

Her: "Oh, why do you think that?"

Me: "Because, your body will upgrade from a queen size womb to a king size womb"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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The new Uterus Rental service...

Wombs-To-Go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_Make_It
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why did the twins move back in together?

They wanted to go back to being womb-mates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck-Dieazel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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If β€œwomb is pronounced β€œwoom”, β€œtomb” is pronounced β€œtoom”, then then shouldn’t β€œbomb” be pronounced

β€œBOOM”

I hope that blew your minds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zombiemonkey04
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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If womb is pronounced as β€œwoom” and tomb is pronounced as β€œtoom...”

Then shouldn’t bomb be pronounced as β€œboom?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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9 Months isn’t really that long

It just feels like a maternity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRichestCuck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her…

I said, β€œNah, it’s probably womb temperature.”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her…

I said, β€œNah, it’s probably womb temperature.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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