So I have an uncle, once removed.
Cause God wanted His Son raised in a...stable environment.
Names him "Dawson".
We named him Carson.
Thank you for your cervix.
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
it was take-out.
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
now that she's de-calf-einated.
I was dad on arrival.
He called them Jose and Hose B......
For now, they're just cell mates.
Labor & delivery at your cervix!
They all said, “Ewwww.”
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
We're having a midwife crisis.
I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”
“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”
“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”
“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.
“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
Back story... sitting in the garden, social distancing bbq. One of our mates has a baby who was looking for food and such. I came out with a pack of skips crisp. Baby’s mum said ‘gotta be careful, it’s got salt in it’,
To my amazement I said ‘ they contain salt!’ To which my partner replies... why do u think there so addictive’
With out thinking i spluted’ so if I put salt on my dick it will be ad-dick-tive!
No one laughed but me.
I'm a grammar, now!
The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.
When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious. She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?” The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!” “Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?” “Denephew”
His mom had Dick Pryor.
He said it was his pleasure.
Because they think it's best for a manta rays kids.
Choo Choo, was born at 3:30pm today weighing 6lb 8oz.
They’re calling it Sonblock.
If you're here looking for a punchline, you probably won't find it. This was just about the delivery
So, I have an uncle once removed.
He is reportedly in a stable condition
I named him Carson
He named his son Carson
I have an uncle, once removed.
We named him Carson.