What do you call it when a Gun gives birth to a Monkey

A Chimp off the old Glock

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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She gives birth at the hospital entrance.

Names him "Dawson".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tawdry-eloquence
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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When a cow gives birth

Then it’s de-calf-inated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BMWtheCreative
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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How do whales give birth?

A Sea-section. πŸ™ƒ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwelshy19v2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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How does a nurse greet a mother about to give birth?

Labor & delivery at your cervix!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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If you’re a simp and your wife gives birth to two boys, what do you get?

The Simpsons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murlockerLOL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Where do crustaceans go to give birth?

The lobstetrician

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaffatank
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Made my first dad joke in awaiting my wife to give birth.

Back story... sitting in the garden, social distancing bbq. One of our mates has a baby who was looking for food and such. I came out with a pack of skips crisp. Baby’s mum said β€˜gotta be careful, it’s got salt in it’,

To my amazement I said β€˜ they contain salt!’ To which my partner replies... why do u think there so addictive’

With out thinking i spluted’ so if I put salt on my dick it will be ad-dick-tive!

No one laughed but me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qit4444
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Why don't female seahorses give birth?

Because they think it's best for a manta rays kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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How does an orange give birth?

By vitamin C section

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeek-lukhulu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner youtube.com/watch?v=Dgc6R…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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My wife and I got in a big argument over how she wanted to give birth.

It was our first midwife crisis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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A man gives up his twin sons for adoption at birth.

Many years later the dad finds out one boy was adopted by a Mexican family and the other by a Muslim family.

The son from the Mexican family, Juan, reaches out to the dad as an adult and the two meet. They have a great time reconnecting and the dad finds out his other son is named Amal.

At the end of the day Juan asks his dad if he wants to meet his other son. The dad declines. Juan asks why and the dad says, β€œif you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanasmf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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It’s biologically impossible for 2 Asian parents to give birth to a Caucasian child.

Which actually proves the old saying β€œtwo Wongs don’t make a white”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/probablynotanazi9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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If a mother gives birth on the stairs

Does that make it a step child?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsquishyboy
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Dear, It is ok to laugh when goats give birth.

They are just kidding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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So I bought tickets to the new football game but my wife is expecting to give birth that evening is anyone interested in being at the birth?
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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What do you call a flying horse that’s about to give birth?

Pregasus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwill0881
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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I was rushing to the hospital because my wife was about to give birth. We didn’t make it there in time and she gave birth to a boy in my car.

I decided to call him Carson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXAnimeAngelXx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I'm driving my wife to the hospital since shes in labor, Unfortunately she gives birth in the car to a baby boy.

I named him Carson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turkey221
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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As I was watching my wife give birth, I was proud, amazed and a little surprised.

But deep down I knew she had it in her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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My fiancΓ© is possibly going to give birth today and for months she’s been saying and dreaming about giving birth today.

I just hope it isn’t today, because otherwise that’s another thing she’s right about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ualat1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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When does a pregnant bed bug give birth?

In the Spring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/windowlicker1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
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How does a mermaid give birth?

By sea section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg_of_RS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
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Did you know that a woman in England gives birth every 30 seconds?

She must be exhausted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjdabeast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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Woman gives birth and goes into a coma

The woman wakes up from her coma and the nurse explains that she has been in a coma after she gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl. The nurse says that because the woman was not able to name her children, her brother named them for her.

Woman: Oh great, what did my brother name the girl?

Nurse: He named her Denise.

Woman: That's not so bad, what about my son?

Nurse: Denephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtianbreezy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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TIFU by letting my dog give birth to a litter of puppies

I have no clue when their next birthday will be...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Brodhisattva
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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What do you call someone who helps shellfish give birth?

A lobstetrician!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mondonodo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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How do mermaids give birth?

Through Sea-section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trouble-oatmeal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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How do mermaids give birth?

A sea-section

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt1eee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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How do mermaids give birth?

Sea-Section

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunnyqueen1985
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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How do mermaids give birth?

They have a sea-section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feelin__Squirrely
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
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How do mermaids give birth?

Via sea-section!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nutella_Bacon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
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