Childbirth Puns

It was such a harrowing experience I couldn’t walk for a year after that.

It should have been called takeout instead.

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

But it's hard to deliver

I mean, it's clearly take-out

I said, "relax honey! You're just having a mid-wife crisis."

To let me know that childbirth is still more painful.

Teacher: Who was married to Julia, Julius Caesar's daughter? Class: Pompey Teacher: Yes and after his daughter died in childbirth, there was no family tie between Julius Caesar and Pompey and so became his enemy. Me: When she died in childbirth, did Julia have a Caesarean section? Teacher: lowers head and bangs on desk Why are you in my class?

Just happened. My wife and I were contemplating childbirth, and I acted out my part of it by clinging to her upper half and saying "I'm staying on this side - or maybe I'll look into the Eye of Vagauron (a poor wordplay on Eye of Sauron).

Wife: -silence-

Me: that was a stretch but I'm sticking to it

And that's when she bursts out laughing and I accidentally a pre-dad joke

It should have been called takeout instead.

It should have been called takeout instead.

It should have been called “takeout” instead.

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

Shouldn’t it be called “takeout”?

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."