After my breastfeeding class, my husband spouted off this gem.

Me: "I need to call your insurance about breast pumps... see what they cover."

Husband: "Probably the boob."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnshaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
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If a new Dad manages to capture video of their child breastfeeding for the first time, is it okay for them to title that video

"The Noob on the Boob!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Wife was breastfeeding..

Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamsushantaryal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Photo of police officer breastfeeding a stranger's hungry infant is warming hearts around the world.

After the feeding she couldn't get the baby to sleep so she charged it with resisting a rest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterCupHeartXO
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Breastfeeding joke

Girlfriend is breastfeeding baby delatches to say hi to dada

Hey Banana want a milkshake?

shakes moms boobs

10/10 Best Dad Joke of my life.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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It turns out that my baby isn’t very good in transitioning out of breastfeeding.

In fact, he sucks at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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My older daughter asked me why Mommy is so tired after breastfeeding our baby all day

I told her:

Breastfeeding is tough for Mommy, it really takes a lot out of her

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s460
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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My wife and I were discussing the breastfeeding of our daughter...

My wife said "I don't wanna ween her"

I said "Baby, you don't have a wiener"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foflexity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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I'm in favour of breastfeeding in public...

It's just hard to find a woman willing to feed me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternal42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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Ever since our son was born, it's been the same routine every morning. First the crying, then a breastfeeding, followed by a nap…

It's the only way I can cope…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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My breastfeeding son is like a drunk

He needs a little nip to get to sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digmana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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I don't get why modern society treats breastfeeding in public as...

Taboob

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
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My 6 month old son has his first milk shake today.

My wife was breastfeeding him during the earthquake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What kind of bees make milk?

Boo-bees!

(This is a great one for the new dad's supporting that breastfeeding goddess;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aggressivelyplush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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My very tired wife told me

"I can't believe how much breastfeeding takes out of me"

She didn't get it until I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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My newborn passed out face down in his crib. He has a drinking problem

Breastfeeding usually leaves him sheetfaced

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparxican
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Dad: Why can't our 6 month old drink regular milk?

Breastfeeding Mom: Because he can't have cow's milk yet.

Dad: What do you think he's been drinking all this time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/producertommy
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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Nursing these jokes

Since my wife has been breastfeeding our third child, it's occurred to me, this is the only situation in which she's ever looked forward to a let-down.

She's also been expressing herself quite well.

Yes, I've been milking this for all it's worth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
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New dad here...

When I hand over my newborn to her mother for breastfeeding: "Bon appe-teat, little baby"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesTyree
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2016
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Really proud of my first one as a dad

When talking about breastfeeding our newborn and how he has been sooooo gassy:

Grandma (my mom): the sucking helps to relax the colon so that will help.

Me (new dad): I'll be damned if you think I'm going to suck on his colon

Cue groans and a slap upside my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nalybuites
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2015
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I dad joked my wife and got in trouble.

We have twin babies which often fall asleep on my wife while she's breastfeeding.

I commented that we don't need to get them a bunk bed for their room because she is a twin size bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smokinaj420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
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Dad joked while talking about my cousins upcoming baby boy

"So will you be breastfeeding him?" "No I won't be, but I sure hope my wife is."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kpmclean
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
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