Me: "I need to call your insurance about breast pumps... see what they cover."
Husband: "Probably the boob."
Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
"The Noob on the Boob!"
After the feeding she couldn't get the baby to sleep so she charged it with resisting a rest
Girlfriend is breastfeeding baby delatches to say hi to dada
Hey Banana want a milkshake?
shakes moms boobs
10/10 Best Dad Joke of my life.
In fact, he sucks at it.
I told her:
Breastfeeding is tough for Mommy, it really takes a lot out of her
My wife said "I don't wanna ween her"
I said "Baby, you don't have a wiener"
It's just hard to find a woman willing to feed me.
It's the only way I can cope…
He needs a little nip to get to sleep.
My wife was breastfeeding him during the earthquake.
(This is a great one for the new dad's supporting that breastfeeding goddess;)
"I can't believe how much breastfeeding takes out of me"
She didn't get it until I laughed.
Breastfeeding usually leaves him sheetfaced
Breastfeeding Mom: Because he can't have cow's milk yet.
Dad: What do you think he's been drinking all this time.
Since my wife has been breastfeeding our third child, it's occurred to me, this is the only situation in which she's ever looked forward to a let-down.
She's also been expressing herself quite well.
Yes, I've been milking this for all it's worth.
When I hand over my newborn to her mother for breastfeeding: "Bon appe-teat, little baby"
When talking about breastfeeding our newborn and how he has been sooooo gassy:
Grandma (my mom): the sucking helps to relax the colon so that will help.
Me (new dad): I'll be damned if you think I'm going to suck on his colon
Cue groans and a slap upside my head.
We have twin babies which often fall asleep on my wife while she's breastfeeding.
I commented that we don't need to get them a bunk bed for their room because she is a twin size bed.