On the news: “nearly 29,000 women have their breast implants removed every year”

Me, to my wife: “that’s stupid. I would think most women only need to have them removed once!”

👍︎ 96
📅︎ May 27 2020
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Heard this one get dropped whilest visiting with my parents.

Mom (addressing us kids): Y'know I once caught your grandfather letting the dog suckle on his nipple when she was a puppy... Once he saw me he put her down and acted like nothing happened.

Dad : So... He was a PETA-phile?

The moment was golden... Couldn't ask for better timing.

👍︎ 5
📅︎ Jun 26 2018
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