An ostrich is impregnated by an alien.

It gives birth to an Australian.

👍︎ 6
👤︎ u/borg2525
📅︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a woman impregnated with her brothers child like her eggs?

In bread.

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/halshing
📅︎ Oct 02 2013
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".

I replied with " want me to c'monsoon?"

She hasn't replied yet.

Guess she stormed out.

👍︎ 5k
📅︎ Jul 09 2016
🚨︎ report
I'll just let this sink in.

Edit: I got gold for making someone groan. Thank you so much, I'm now much more motivated to impregnate a woman so I can unleash my terrible jokes on the fruit of my loins.

👍︎ 3k
👤︎ u/whenn
📅︎ Aug 10 2015
🚨︎ report
I think I'm finally ready to become a dad.

So I'm currently watching all 6 star wars movies to prep myself for the new one coming out.

I just now finished watching Attack of the Clones. At the part where C3PO has his head attached to the battle droid, abs R2D2 removes it and starts dragging his head on the ground, 3PO says "this is such a drag"

Now as long as I can remember I've always HATED that line. I saw the movie for the first time in theaters when I was 16 years old and thought that little joke was the absolute dumbest and pointless part of the entire movie.

Now 13 years later I watched it again and when he said that line I just found myself laughing at it like it was actually really funny. I recognized that cringe in it but all kept laughing for like two minutes at it.

Does this mean I need to find someone to impregnate immediately?

Same thing goes with most dad jokes. Especially puns. Always hated them but have really been enjoying the posts on this sub lately.

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/MrDeez444
📅︎ Nov 07 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.