What do you call a veal-birthing cow?
What do you call it when your birthing coach won't come to help deliver the baby?
A mid-wife crisis
(Or a "no can doula")
We drive past a birthing center (midwifes) and my dad-in-law says
"I wonder if they deliver."
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
I told my wife I'm leaving her while she was giving birth to our child. She asked if I was kidding
My wife's home birth went miserably...
I guess you could say there was a midwife crisis.
I visited the birth place of the guy who invented the toothbrush.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
In a beehive, after the queen bee gives birth to the little baby bees, which bees are responsible for feeding the babies?
Both of my parents don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. They are both very honest and open people.
I guess you could say they're transparent.
A women gave birth in the car
Her husband named the kid Carson
What do you call it when a Gun gives birth to a Monkey
A Chimp off the old Glock
What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
What do you call a sheep of noble birth?
My wife gave birth to our baby boy otw to the hospital...
She gives birth at the hospital entrance.
What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
What would it be called the Birth of Jesus if they were all cats?
How did Mary know baby Jesus was 6 lbs. 3 oz. at birth?
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
How do whales give birth?
My daughter's birth wasn't a delivery...
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
Our cow just gave birth and she's been sleeping better...
now that she's de-calf-einated.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
What do you call an invisible mom who was assigned male at birth?
I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
Did you hear about the mexican fireman whose wife gave birth to two sons?
He called them Jose and Hose B......
What did God say after performing the immaculate conception?
How does a nurse greet a mother about to give birth?
Labor & delivery at your cervix!
I showed a picture of a sheep giving birth to some kids and asked if they knew what animal it was.
My wife has just gave birth at the hospital. I pulled the doctor away for a minute and asked "how soon do you think we will be able to have sex?"
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
If you’re a simp and your wife gives birth to two boys, what do you get?
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
When a cow gives birth
Then it’s de-calf-inated.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle once removed.
Mary gave birth to Jesus in a manger
He is reportedly in a stable condition
My wife gave birth to our son in our car on the way to the hospital
A dad's wife gave birth in a car
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
How do mermaids give birth?
What do you call a cow that just gave birth.
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