Giving Birth Puns

It was littering.

For now, they're just cell mates.

They all said, “Ewwww.”

I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.

A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”

“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”

Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”

“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”

Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”

“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”

The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.

“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.

Happy Fathers Day!

The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.

When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious. She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?” The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!” “Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?” “Denephew”

She must be tracked down and stopped!

Guess they were new sons to her.

All I'm saying is...a year or two after being kicked in the nads, I've never heard a guy say, "you know what! I think I'd like to be kicked in the nads again."

It was all about delivery

De-calf

I wrote “Birth control.”

I was convinced it was a Pull door.

Eggs-hausted!

She was littering.

I just hope it isn’t today, because otherwise that’s another thing she’s right about.

Because they've been de-calf-inated.

Dad walks in

Dad: "Hey son, do you know what you call a cow that just gave birth to a calf?"

Me: "No idea... What is it?"

Dad: "Decaffeinated!"

She is literally kidding.

I was convinced it was a Pull door.