Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome

Theyre calling it "Son-Block"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Did you hear about the new topical birth control medicine?

They’re calling it Sonblock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibiachika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Birth control should be the actual name used for delivery
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poven100
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"

It's being marketed as Son-block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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They have a new birth control pill for men that's the size of a small pebble.

You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control?

A swallow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I want to create a birth control pill that you take just before sex. The pill could even be mint flavored.

I’ll call them pre dick a-mints

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What do you call Birth Control and LSD?

A Trip without the kids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watchursix
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Pull out and pray isn't just my preferred method of birth control

It's also how I use my debit card

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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My girlfriend was having a hard time opening her birth control.

I told her it’s because it’s child-proof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mtaylor0812_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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Why did animal control arrest the dog on the side of the road who was giving birth?

She was littering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Girlfriend goes to take birth control...

...and says "I'm going to make myself... Inconceivable."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Analingous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2016
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What do residents of the Shire use for birth control?

Anything, really, as long as it's non-Hobbit-forming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bramley
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2016
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Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked: β€œWhat else could the management provide β€” that might have prevented you from leaving?”

I wrote β€œBirth control.”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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Got a vasectomy earlier this week. Can't masturbate for a while so I have lots of free time for dad jokes.

Seems like a vas improvement so far.

The urologist told me that I need to use an athletic supporter for 3 to 7 days following the procedure but he also said not to ejaculate for at least a week so what exactly am I supposed to do with this cheerleader in my basement?

Speaking of birth control, what's the difference between permanent female sterilization and a Russian bakery? Well, one's a tubal ligation, the other's a Ruble pie station.

My greatest regret in all this is that I can no longer dress up for Halloween as a pirate and carrying around a sign that says, "Ask me what I use to convey sperm from my testicle to my urethra," for the sake of replying, "A vas, matey!"

Look, these are hard to come up with and my nads are sore. Give me something to make the wife groan that sexy, "why did I marry you" groan that we all love.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neverthesame2x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
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If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control?

A swallow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Did you hear about the new birth control pill for men?

You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wishyouamerry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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