Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
πŸ‘︎ 219
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 579
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_nameless_one
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Dialysis is a blood bath.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rebaloisesays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?

One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockyCrayon6625
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I gave the cat a bath last week..

I still can't taste anything

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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What's the difference between a bath tub and an alligator?

(Dad waits for the common response: "I don't know, what?")

Then I'd advice you to never take a bath.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twozon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!

Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(


[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.

But it's too late....she sank.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I just dropped my phone in the bath

Now it's syncing

πŸ‘︎ 393
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdgasm12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon take a bath?

It has meteor showers!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I was alone in the bath

Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knightysays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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How did the Italian wife tell her husband he needed a bath?

Eureka!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?

A scrub jay!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Archimedes took a bath and then said "Eureka!"

When I smell myself, I say "You reek-a!" and then take a bath.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Babamots
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Two monkeys are sat in the bath. One says "oooh oooh aah aah"

The other says "well put some more cold in then"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bollock2681
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock of the door....

She says "who is it?"

"It's the blind man" comes the response.

Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".

In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to give the cat a bath today while she was at work

My tongue is soo sore right now.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There were two monkeys sitting in the bath

One says to the other: 'oooooo eeeeee oooooo aaaaa'

The other says: 'put the cold tap on then!'

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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The doctor insisted I take a milk bath, so I asked her if it need to be pasteurized...

She said no, just above the knees.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spanky2222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a really tough day today. I figured you would appreciate that my wife suggested I peruse r/dad jokes while she drew me a relaxing bath.

I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theknight618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Two monkeys in a bath one said ohh ohh ahh ahh and the other one said

Ok ok I will put some cold in then

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeevo8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me if I can make her a bath

I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cozzo123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...

She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...

Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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I read you can buy half a pillowcase down at Bed Bath and Beyond!

Turns out it was a total sham

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..

Bad um tisch..

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?

They don’t want to get the sheets!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1derin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?

Eu-reek-a

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itinerant24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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What's the best kinda bath bomb

A toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faraaah02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a terrorist in the bath

A bath bomb

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomcrew10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.

Don't they carry essential oils?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my son to go take a bath. He said no.

He is no thief.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shearthly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you use to draw baths

Water colors

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...

...but I can't even finish drinking the hot bath...

πŸ‘︎ 600
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...

I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nagennif
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally dropped my phone in the bath yesterday. Some water got stuck in between the phone and it’s cover. I thought my phone was waterproof.

But apparently not in this case.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phuonganh98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?

It will surely end in a cat-astrophe

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fall-Risk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?

Luke-warm

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franz-hanz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Golden Shower Bath and Kitchen Co.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wattayagonnado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What makes a bath tub get really hot?

A Shower Head

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FragmentedAll
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do Japanese mafiosi take a bath?

In a yakuzzi

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
So I wanted to take a milk bath yesterday.

When I got into the tub, I asked my gf to pour milk into the tub with me. She questioned, "pasteurized?" No honey, just to my waist please.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Black Saab Bath
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coreysimulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
2 monkeys are sharing a bath

#1: ooh Oeh ah ah!

#2: oh sorry, is it too hot?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Absolute1790
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What is an Indian king's favorite type of bath?

A-soak-a

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rebelli65
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call james bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrenter_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble-07

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerwife2017
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s β€œooh ooh aah ooh aah”

The second one say’s β€œwell put some cold water in it then”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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