I was addicted to soap once.

Now I’m clean

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap...

But I'm clean now.

👍︎ 793
💬︎
👤︎ u/spanky2222
📅︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now

👍︎ 120
💬︎
👤︎ u/Luqs1738
📅︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
A bunch of robbers came in and stole all of my soap.

Dirty bastards.

Then the cops came over and did a full report.

They said they got away clean.

👍︎ 59
💬︎
👤︎ u/DinkyOreo
📅︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫SOAP♫

I just sang about eight bars.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/slowshot
📅︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I’m clean

👍︎ 46
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📅︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
The beauty store told me their soap is 100% natural but I found out it wasn't

It was just a Lye

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/Amranwag
📅︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
I am opening a soap box derby themed restaurant

Everything in the menu is *a la carte

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/jvanzandd
📅︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
I was a soap addict.

But now I'm clean.

👍︎ 45
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📅︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera

👍︎ 24
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I was singing in the shower tonight when I unexpectedly got some soap in my mouth.

Suddenly it became a soap opera.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
I killed a spider with soap

He got a clean death

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.

Then it Dawned on me.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Thats what I call dish soap
👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Why did the thief take the soap?

So he can make a clean getaway.

👍︎ 25
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📅︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
👍︎ 16k
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📅︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?

Sud-light

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

👍︎ 74
💬︎
👤︎ u/YDAQ
📅︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.

Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/Yoohao
📅︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...

They're all lyes!

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who makes ineffective soap?

A filthy lyer

👍︎ 26
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📅︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
As a child, it was my dream to make a perfect bar of soap ...

... but somehow it just slipped away.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
My friend says that he regularly snorts an ingredient for soap...

I could tell he was lye-ing.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
I once grabbed a slippery soap...

It got out of hand pretty quickly

👍︎ 1k
💬︎
👤︎ u/Alcinada
📅︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a point in my life where I was addicted to all kinds of soap

But I'm clean now, though.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to dish soap.

I’m clean now.

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
This puns soap
👍︎ 312
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📅︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
i went to rehab for abusing soap

i just wanted to get clean

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I spilled the bottle of dish soap...

Couldn't figure out how to clean up.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
who steals soap?

a thief looking for a clean getaway

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
This soap at my hotel
👍︎ 59
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👤︎ u/thisish2k
📅︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people are addicted to crack and heroin. I was addicted to soap.

I’m clean now.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re switching from liquid to bar soap, be careful...

It’s a slippery soap.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the soap from the bathroom again

The culprit made a clean get away

👍︎ 22
💬︎
👤︎ u/BadPuppyZA
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Who stole the soap?

The robber ducky.

👍︎ 36
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👤︎ u/Xerupton
📅︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Australian Soap show about horses?

Neigh-bours

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend claimed that I couldn’t make a joke about soap.

Obviously that’s a lye.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Soap tips.
👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/1SLAYER1
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be an addict to soap...

But now im clean...

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is always fun until you get soap in your mouth

Then it just turns into a soap opera

👍︎ 15
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
You know how the dish soap Ajax got its name?

It cuts through Greece.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/xwhy
📅︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But then i got clean

👍︎ 23
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But I'm totally clean now.

👍︎ 32
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📅︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A guy went to a meeting for addictions. He confessed to being addicted to soap. “However,” he said...

“I’m clean now.”

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you drop the soap in a german prison?

You assume the wurst

👍︎ 259
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👤︎ u/Maace94
📅︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad, is that a jail? No it's a soap factory...

Look at all the bars in the windows!

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/jack_wolff
📅︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Soap Opera
👍︎ 41
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📅︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Antibacterial soap is more powerful than Thanos

Because Thanos can only kill 50% of all germs while antibacterial soap can kill 99.9% of germs

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the junkie, who was addicted to soap?

He is clean now.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the burglars steal soap?

They wanted a clean getaway.

👍︎ 23
💬︎
👤︎ u/Everenzi
📅︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bar of soap that has been pierced by a nail?

Pears soap

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/Mayteras
📅︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

👍︎ 22
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
These guys broke into my house and stole everything except for my soap, my hand sanitizer, and my sponges.

Dirty bastards

👍︎ 35
💬︎
👤︎ u/ChaDaBeast
📅︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

Don’t worry, I’m clean now.

👍︎ 32
💬︎
👤︎ u/TGP2005
📅︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman worried about the suspicious behavior of her husband decides to follow him. Instead of going to the office, she finds him in a small laboratory making soap.

Caught in the act he admits, "Honey, I've been living a lye..."

👍︎ 21
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📅︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been putting soap in my son's pockets for weeks, today he finally asked me why..

I replied, "Sorry son, I must have pocket-dialed you by mistake.."

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Greyjeedai
📅︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call soap that is smart?

Soaphisticated

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/iBMeh
📅︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?

As a detergent against future grime.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
👍︎ 172
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📅︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Antibach soap
👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I wanted to try this new soap he was using.

I responded, "Thanks, but I'd lather not".

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/crumbkakes
📅︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey, I’ve got to admit something to you guys. I used to be addicted to soap...

But I’m clean now

👍︎ 49
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.

Got home and realized that I can't use it. My hands are solid, and opaque.

👍︎ 43
💬︎
👤︎ u/FYF69
📅︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?

A robber ducky

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/Onlyadeej
📅︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to soap?

Don't worry, he's clean now 😊

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/BigHummer
📅︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
As a child my dream was to design the perfect bar of soap.

But somehow it just slipped away.

👍︎ 52
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📅︎ Oct 23 2017
🚨︎ report
I need more soap puns!

Because all the good ones keep slipping through my fingers.

(I do need some for a job interview though, I want this interview to be a clean sweep)

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/SgtWings
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

👍︎ 207
💬︎
👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

👍︎ 27
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Soap

I used to be addicted to it. But now I'm clean.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But im clean now

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/Supeelok99
📅︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap

but now I'm clean.

👍︎ 75
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I’m clean now

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/agarcia128
📅︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I'm clean.

👍︎ 17
💬︎
👤︎ u/zincti
📅︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a Soap Opera

👍︎ 26
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now

👍︎ 84
💬︎
👤︎ u/domadomdom
📅︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now.

👍︎ 148
💬︎
📅︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap. But now I'm clean
👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/Lorenz207
📅︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

Now I'm all clean

👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But I'm clean now.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
i used to be addicted to soap...

...but I'm clean now

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

But now I am clean

👍︎ 179
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap....

I’m clean now.

👍︎ 63
💬︎
👤︎ u/amurr88
📅︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap

But now I'm clean

👍︎ 52
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I’m clean!

👍︎ 17
💬︎
👤︎ u/mr_remy
📅︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap once.

I'm clean now!

👍︎ 26
💬︎
👤︎ u/minetruly
📅︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But then i got clean...

👍︎ 20
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera.

👍︎ 37
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But now I'm clean.

👍︎ 28
💬︎
👤︎ u/StephGGWP
📅︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

👍︎ 30
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

👍︎ 101
💬︎
👤︎ u/dvergur
📅︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report

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