I need more soap puns!

Because all the good ones keep slipping through my fingers.

(I do need some for a job interview though, I want this interview to be a clean sweep)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtWings
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap once.

Now I’m clean

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poorly_timed_fuck
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
β™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«SOAPβ™«

I just sang about eight bars.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 210
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I was a soap addict.

But now I'm clean.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexshinoda117
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But im clean now

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supeelok99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I was singing in the shower tonight when I unexpectedly got some soap in my mouth.

Suddenly it became a soap opera.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
I killed a spider with soap

He got a clean death

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZethMrDadJokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.

Then it Dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Thats what I call dish soap
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supermantaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Why did the thief take the soap?

So he can make a clean getaway.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerMaster978
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?

Sud-light

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyKnight789
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Many people believe liquid soap is more hygienic than soap bars.

Don't listen to them, it is only a slippery soap argument.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoohao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...

They're all lyes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
As a child, it was my dream to make a perfect bar of soap ...

... but somehow it just slipped away.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cacarrizales
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who makes ineffective soap?

A filthy lyer

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spoodermemes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend says that he regularly snorts an ingredient for soap...

I could tell he was lye-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
There was a point in my life where I was addicted to all kinds of soap

But I'm clean now, though.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I once grabbed a slippery soap...

It got out of hand pretty quickly

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alcinada
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I spilled the bottle of dish soap...

Couldn't figure out how to clean up.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to dish soap.

I’m clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
i went to rehab for abusing soap

i just wanted to get clean

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisaxbox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
who steals soap?

a thief looking for a clean getaway

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people are addicted to crack and heroin. I was addicted to soap.

I’m clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guess-what-babe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
This puns soap
πŸ‘︎ 311
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spookyAGENT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
This soap at my hotel
πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisish2k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If you’re switching from liquid to bar soap, be careful...

It’s a slippery soap.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runningwaterss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend claimed that I couldn’t make a joke about soap.

Obviously that’s a lye.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the soap from the bathroom again

The culprit made a clean get away

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Who stole the soap?

The robber ducky.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerupton
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be an addict to soap...

But now im clean...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Get_rEKt_LUl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Australian Soap show about horses?

Neigh-bours

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Unknown101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is always fun until you get soap in your mouth

Then it just turns into a soap opera

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenator2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Soap tips.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1SLAYER1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
You know how the dish soap Ajax got its name?

It cuts through Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy went to a meeting for addictions. He confessed to being addicted to soap. β€œHowever,” he said...

β€œI’m clean now.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But then i got clean

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Behemoth_Nemoth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad, is that a jail? No it's a soap factory...

Look at all the bars in the windows!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jack_wolff
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But I'm totally clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Antibacterial soap is more powerful than Thanos

Because Thanos can only kill 50% of all germs while antibacterial soap can kill 99.9% of germs

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ARandomOven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Soap Opera
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Original_Sage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the burglars steal soap?

They wanted a clean getaway.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Everenzi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you drop the soap in a german prison?

You assume the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 260
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maace94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bar of soap that has been pierced by a nail?

Pears soap

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mayteras
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
The guests in this hotel are always stealing all the soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms...

Dirty bastards!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoliH-Entai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
These guys broke into my house and stole everything except for my soap, my hand sanitizer, and my sponges.

Dirty bastards

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaDaBeast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

Don’t worry, I’m clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TGP2005
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been putting soap in my son's pockets for weeks, today he finally asked me why..

I replied, "Sorry son, I must have pocket-dialed you by mistake.."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greyjeedai
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman worried about the suspicious behavior of her husband decides to follow him. Instead of going to the office, she finds him in a small laboratory making soap.

Caught in the act he admits, "Honey, I've been living a lye..."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/illinoisape
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me if I wanted to try this new soap he was using.

I responded, "Thanks, but I'd lather not".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crumbkakes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call soap that is smart?

Soaphisticated

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iBMeh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?

As a detergent against future grime.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mentalstarvation
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Antibach soap
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Hey, I’ve got to admit something to you guys. I used to be addicted to soap...

But I’m clean now

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamebird8000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to soap?

Don't worry, he's clean now 😊

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigHummer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?

A robber ducky

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onlyadeej
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought some clear, liquid hand-soap today.

Got home and realized that I can't use it. My hands are solid, and opaque.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Soap is not real food

Even if one digests it, one will have sham poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JAiFauxThe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
As a child my dream was to design the perfect bar of soap.

But somehow it just slipped away.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dumb bar of soap?

Antifacterial

Ok.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hugo_kp_l
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does Soap always get away with murder?

Because it knows how to make a clean getaway!

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I didn't know someone had watered down the soap until it Dawned on me.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/christag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Hand soap
πŸ‘︎ 146
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amphetamachine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend accidentally put dish soap in the dishwasher last night

We had just finished cleaning up dinner and were watching a movie when I went into the kitchen to get dessert. The entire floor was covered in bubbles emerging from the dish washer.

I called to her and said it looked like Sud-etenland in here. She was unamused.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mcfinley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2016
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap

but now I'm clean.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ratiodoloris
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I’m clean now

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agarcia128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I'm clean.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zincti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a Soap Opera

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InstantLover
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/domadomdom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 149
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeifEriccson
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap. But now I'm clean
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorenz207
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChinguminguPingu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

Now I'm all clean

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DallasDomino0806
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
i used to be addicted to soap...

...but I'm clean now

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap....

I’m clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amurr88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

But now I am clean

πŸ‘︎ 182
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnFinMan123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap

But now I'm clean

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jutnlink123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I’m clean!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_remy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I was addicted to soap once.

I'm clean now!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minetruly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But then i got clean...

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Behemoth_Nemoth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alixcamille
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

But now I'm clean.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StephGGWP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clickclickonsal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap,

but I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dvergur
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap

But now I'm clean

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JHulsgate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I used to be addicted to soap.

I'm clean now.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KennyisaG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2013
🚨︎ report

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