John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
And god said to John, come forth and receive eternal life
But he cane fifth and won a toaster
Why did Bill get mad at John after John ate all of his toast?
Because he's Lack Toast Intolerant.
Elton John is great on the piano
But he sucks on an organ.
John Cena emerges from a deep slumber only to find he has wound up in the hospital.
JC: where am I?
JC: No you can’t.
Elton John doesn’t always get high as a kite...
But when he does it’s zero hour 9 am
And the Lord said unto John "come fourth and receive eternal life"
But he came fifth and won a toaster.
They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside
Imagine, all the people...
What did john put on his pasta?
Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say
At least the both have something "in" common.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
What did john say to the other john?
What's the matter? You look flushed.
What room is John Cena scared of?
What does John Lennon say to his sons when they don't want to eat their greens?
With all the shortages, we've been forced to buy the John Wayne toilet paper.
It's rough, tough, and don't take shit off anyone
John Travolta was hospitalized earlier today for suspected COVID-19.
Doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.
I told my dad I just met someone with one eye named john.
My dad...what was his other eye called?
LIFE RANT: yesterday was the first day I’ve been outside my house since coronavirus started, I just wanted to get some Jimmy Johns. It’s been 3 months, I ordered a #16 Club Lulu, something seemed off but by the time I got to the car I realized...
I was fired from Jimmy Johns because I kept mixing up people’s orders.
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side.
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
John Wick said to the ninja, “Bet ya can’t hit me with that thing!?”
Ninja replies, “Shuriken”.
The John Lennon Airport has been quarantined
My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.
John left large shoes to Phil.
I just heard that a Star Wars character made first chair in the woodwinds section for John Williams’ orchestra.
Congrats Oboe-one Kenobi!
I recently talked about a John Cena joke with my sister, but she didn't seem to understand the joke, so I started to explain to her who John Cena is. She then asked me whether or not I seriously think that she doesn't know who John Cena is. I then told her:
"Well, I just thought you might have never seen him before."
Did you hear that John Lennon airport went into quarantine earlier?
John Travolta started experiencing Coronavirus symptoms.
One Sunday morning, he started having a fever, headache and a cold so he decided to go to the hospital to have himself tested. After the test, he talked with the doctor who told him that he tested negative for Coronavirus - it was just Saturday night fever.
What has John Cena been up to?
I never see him around anymore.
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
John, Nobody, and Mad met together at a park.
John and Nobody had an argument which escalated into a fistfight. Mad, being a responsible citizen, called 911.
"Help! My friend John is fighting with Nobody!"
"Excuse me? Sir, are you mad?"
"Yes, I am, how did you know?"
Everyone inside of John Lennon airport have been quarantined!
I wrote a joke about Elton John
My favourite film reviewer is John Williams.
He just loves to score movies
John was gay and he killed his partner. What was he charged with?
Genie: What is your first wish, John? John: I want to be rich Genie: Done, what is your second wish?
Rich: I need a lot of money
What will John Williams be doing after he dies?
Why did John Snow stand in line for 6 hours at Apple store?
John, Paul, George, Ringo, and Herbie
What do Kermit the Frog, John the Baptist and Vlad the Impaler have in common?
What was Long John Silver doing in a bank ?
By George said Paul sitting on the John...
"How good is this John guy?"
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
...'cos he's a ROCKET MAN...
Papa John from Papa John Pizza just passed away last night.
I think John Belushi would have appreciated this one.
Couldn’t find my seat at the Elton John concert
John has 10 cakes. He eats 6 of them. What does he now have?
Pizza Hut Online’s example name is John Dough, instead of John Doe.
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
How did John and Yoko get their son to eat his veggies?
"Sean, all we are saying is give peas a chance."
The Lord said to John: Come forth and receive eternal life.
But, John came 5th and got a toaster.
John Cena: *wakes up in hospital* Where am I? Doctor:ICU John Cena: No you cant
Most assassins couldn't hold a candle to John Wick.
Have you heard about Elton John’s new comedy tour?
It’s a little bit funny...
Why were the vowels sad when they said John Cena would show up
It's not like U could see him anyway
Is the title of the 4th John Wick movie.
1 month = 4 Wicks
Maybe the Best Dad Jokester Ever. R.I.P. John Witherspoon
On Oct. 29, 2019, the world lost a legend. Esteemed actor and comedian, John "Pops" Witherspoon, passed away at the age of 77. After making his acting debut on The Richard Pryor Show in 1977, Witherspoon starred in cultural classics like Good Times, House Party, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Bebe's Kids, Boomerang, Soul Plane, I Got the Hook-Up, The Wayans Bros, all three of the revered Friday movies and many more. https://4ormypeople.com/mood/2019/10/30/rip-john-pops-witherspoon
Elton John doesn’t like iceberg lettuce..
He’s more of a rocket man
The Lord told John to come forth and he will receive eternal life
He came fifth and got a toaster
John Wick 4: Keanu Leaves home
John Cena: *wakes up from coma* where am I? Nurse: ICU.
Why'd they get John Mulaney to play Spider Ham? Because He's a comic!
What does John Wick do after people die?
Teenage daughter asked "When is that new Elton John movie coming out?"
I replied "I think it's gonna be a long, long time"
What happened to John Travolta's throat after drinking orange juice?
John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,
"Oh, not that movie again! How many times can you even watch John McClane kill some terrorists before you get tired?"
"I'm sorry, but you know how it goes. Old habits, Die Hard."
Then there was the farmer who got the John Deer letter.
What disease did John Lennon die of?
John Travolta was hospitalized for suspected Covid-19 ...
... but doctors have now confirmed that it was only Saturday Night Fever, and they can now assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.
And the Lord said unto John: Come forth and you will receive eternal life.
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
God said to John " come forth and receive eternal life"
But he came fifth and won a toaster
The lord told John to come forth and he shall have eternal life.
But he came in fifth and got a toaster.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life".
John came fifth and won a toaster.
And god said to John come forth and receive eternal life
But he came fifth and won a toaster
Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side?
I mean, imagine all the peepholes!