Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
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︎ May 08 2021
I've got a joke about Elton John.
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︎ May 08 2021
What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?
What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?
Ono!
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︎ May 26 2021
What do a beach Port-a-John and Spongebob have in common?
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︎ May 30 2021
I recently met a man with one leg named John.
He never told me the name of his other leg.
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︎ May 17 2021
Here's one I made up just now, in honour of Big John McCarthy
What do you call an entry in an arborists diary?
A log...
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︎ May 29 2021
Did You Know That Dr. John Dolittle has a vegan brother named Jack?
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︎ May 23 2021
John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon.
He thought we'd all die in the long run.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
And the Lord said unto John, βCome forth and you will receive eternal life.β
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Iβve been watching the John Wayne Gacy documentary series on Peacock. Really creepy and fascinating. Surprisingly, despite being a cannibal murderer, he was a stickler for etiquette.
Anyone who arrived late to one of his dinner parties received a cold shoulder.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
John Travoltaire.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
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︎ Jan 10 2021
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill
Itβs a little fit bunny
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What did Paul McCartney say when he met Johnβs new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
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︎ Mar 04 2021
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Trivia Newton-John.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
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︎ Feb 08 2021
What do the Equalizer and John Wick have in common?
Both like schooling bad people (One with a pencil, one with a book)
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︎ Feb 24 2021
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....
"It's a little bit runny".
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce
Heβs more of a Rocket Man.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. Itβs almost a full Heartland Rock set...
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︎ Jan 18 2021
John fix
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:
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︎ Dec 31 2020
John Lemon
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Sometimes John Wick likes to kill quietly.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What did John Mcenroe say when he was disqualified from the chese eating contest
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Did you hear about the new song by Olivia Newton John about clocks?
Let's get digital, digital.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19.
Turns out he just had Saturday Night Fever.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
What hospital ward is john cena afraid of?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
John Cena's more than a brainac
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Why is John Cena always invisible?
"Because he's JOHN SEE NAH (No see)"
- my boomer dad who I thought he's asking a genuine question
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︎ Dec 21 2020
I call my toilet the jim instead of the john
That way I can tell people I go to the jim every morning.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
John was the best liver surgeon in his hospital.
I guess you could say he always delivered.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
What did John say to Marry?
You've been the best part of my life and I cant imagine my life with you. Will you marry me?
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︎ Nov 29 2020
Best Friend: βWhy arenβt you dating anyone?β Me: βCall Me Johnβ
βCause I ainβt Cena girl worth my time yetβ
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?
Itβs a little fit bunny.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
βItβs a little fit bunny.β
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.....
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︎ Jan 21 2021
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
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︎ Mar 15 2020
Elton John has brought a treadmill for his pet rabbit
It's a little fit bunny...
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︎ Jan 20 2021
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