Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘︎ 962
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I've got a joke about Elton John.

It's a little bit funny.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?

What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?

Ono!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do a beach Port-a-John and Spongebob have in common?

Sandy Cheeks on it

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PipePistoleer
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently met a man with one leg named John.

He never told me the name of his other leg.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Here's one I made up just now, in honour of Big John McCarthy

What do you call an entry in an arborists diary?

A log...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexJamesCook
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Did You Know That Dr. John Dolittle has a vegan brother named Jack?

He can make beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/True-Ad-2455
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon.

He thought we'd all die in the long run.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
And the Lord said unto John, β€œCome forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth - and won a toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"

Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve been watching the John Wayne Gacy documentary series on Peacock. Really creepy and fascinating. Surprisingly, despite being a cannibal murderer, he was a stickler for etiquette.

Anyone who arrived late to one of his dinner parties received a cold shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jalfredproofrock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
John Travoltaire.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill

It’s a little fit bunny

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?

Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.

But it's definitely number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Trivia Newton-John.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.

turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iloveoldmonk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What do the Equalizer and John Wick have in common?

Both like schooling bad people (One with a pencil, one with a book)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banjowashisnameo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.

It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....

"It's a little bit runny".

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce

He’s more of a Rocket Man.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvanEFC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
John fix
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:

Yeah, I tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierraann0402
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
John Lemon
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/femmika
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes John Wick likes to kill quietly.

He piano reaves.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neopera
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What did John Mcenroe say when he was disqualified from the chese eating contest

You cannot brie serious

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barrybilly2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new song by Olivia Newton John about clocks?

Let's get digital, digital.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingasnappaz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19.

Turns out he just had Saturday Night Fever.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What hospital ward is john cena afraid of?

ICU

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
John Cena's more than a brainac
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is John Cena always invisible?

"Because he's JOHN SEE NAH (No see)"

  • my boomer dad who I thought he's asking a genuine question
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kawaii-lau
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I call my toilet the jim instead of the john

That way I can tell people I go to the jim every morning.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
John was the best liver surgeon in his hospital.

I guess you could say he always delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SodArgon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did John say to Marry?

You've been the best part of my life and I cant imagine my life with you. Will you marry me?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/okmango69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Best Friend: β€œWhy aren’t you dating anyone?” Me: β€œCall Me John”

β€œCause I ain’t Cena girl worth my time yet”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?

It’s a little fit bunny.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.

β€œIt’s a little fit bunny.”

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.....

Its a little fit bunny.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night

Turns out it was just saturday night fever

(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Elton John has brought a treadmill for his pet rabbit

It's a little fit bunny...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report

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