I met Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci
They're real good fellas!
Why do people keep saying Robert Downey Jr. is a girl?
When asked if he had family in Salt Lake City, Robert de Niro replied,
Robert's girlfriend dumped him. He's feeling very discombobulated.
Robert hated his nickname and longed to be discombobulated.
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
How to politely tell your Greek friend Robert to be quite.
Just wait until you aunt marries Robert,
Why does Robert Plant never spend any money at snack machines?
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."
But that's just generally speaking.
My friend Robert was going on and on about how great it is to cook food on a stick.
So I just said, “K, Bob.”
Robert E. Lee's stroke was so bad...
...that some people claimed it left him speechless.
I was in the Apple store the other day and the sales assistant Robert, approached me and asked would I like to try the new iPhone. Not interested, I turned and said:
Why is Robert Downey Jr refusing to take new roles?
How do you say, "Richard and Robert retrieved a rabbit" without pronouncing the "r's?"
Dick and Bob caught a bunny.
What do you think of the actor Robert Money?
Sorry, I meant Robert Dinero
Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?"
People say Robert Mugabe was an awful dictator but
I was his secretary for a short while and I understood every word.
If, instead of Robert Downey Jr., Matthew Broderick starred in 'Iron Man'...
... we'd be calling him 'Ferrous Bueller.'
Why was Robert Patterson chosen as Batman?
Unlike Twilight, he can't suck as Batman.
TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"
New York Post: "How Patriots owner Robert Craft could get off in prostitution case"
Little Known Fact: Matthew Broderick almost beat out Robert Downey Jr for the role of Tony Stark
When Downey got the role, they had to change the movie title to Iron Man instead of Ferrous Bueller's Day Off.
Did you hear about Robert Kraft getting arrested for solicitation?
Apparently the spa he went to had been under investigation for a year and he just happened to go there but was arrested before he could finish. I guess his lawyers will have to...get him off.
Why did Robert Kraft (owner of the New England Patriots) get a happy ending at a massage parlor in Florida???
To get his balls deflated.
I understand Robert Kraft is a single lonely dude...
But isn’t he wealthy enough to order Chinese takeout??
Mum, watching Notting Hill: "Julia Roberts has such a lovely smile"
Me: "You could say it's a Mona Lisa Smile"
Why couldn't Robert Plant pay for a gumball?
Roger Waters Robert Plant (x-post /r/pinkfloyd)
Everyone asked Robert Mueller to hurry up with the investigation..
He replied, "Quit Russian me!"
Vintage pun from Robert Louis Steventon's "The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde", 1886.
"If he be Mr. Hyde, he had thought, I shall be Mr. Seek."
I told my dad about Mark Roberts (the serial streaker), he asked me if I knew he was considering retirement.
Dad: "Hey you know that guy is considering retirement, right?"
Me: "Wait, really?"
Dad: "I'm serious, but he said he'd stick it out for another year."
How did Chinese-American business man Robert Nigel Yu get free money from the bank?
When the teller asked for his name he said, "I am Rob N. Yu."
Robert De Niro's twin brother discovered....
... In Brazil.
Robert De Janeiro
There's a local realtor whose name is Richard Roberts...
My wife told me,
"Richard Roberts? That's a mouthful!"
I told her,
"Not as much as Dick"
So here's my impression of Robert DeNiro, Jackie Chan, and President Bush walking into a restaurant.
"Table for 3."
My grandpa says this joke weekly, and cracks up every time.
Roger Waters Robert Plant
[Game of Thrones reference] What does Daenerys Targaryen call King Robert Baratheon when he's going out to eat ramen?
We discussed Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" today in Lit
Me: so I guess you could say he rides the fence about fences.
Classmate: and he doesn't want anyone to take offence about it.
Me: I gate what you're saying.
I was saying something about an old friend of mine named Robert, who has an underbite
Dad; Oh Robert, He's the one that drowns when it rains right?