Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell

In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NathanielleS
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I've started calling my daughter Joseph

Because every nite at bed time she's Stalin.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThePandaExcess
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Joseph Fritzl and Madeline McCann.

World lock down and social distancing champions 2020.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vmailtk
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Did you know Joseph Stalin was a fast runner?

That guy was a Soviet Rusha.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JohnnyZillion
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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What did joseph do when he fell down the stairs?

He was stallin for a bit but got up eventually

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TorracatXD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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I'm pretty sure that my Chemistry teacher is related to Joseph Stalin.

Because she's always Russian through our lessons.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MaxRevenge
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22 2018
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โ€œIs it raining or snowing, Joseph?โ€

Itโ€™s Hail, Mary.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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Why did Joseph keep bringing up tractors on the firing line?

'cause he was Stalin!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/steadmanthewhale
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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My name is Joe and I forgot something important. My girlfriend yells, "Jesus, Joseph!"...

...I reply, "You forgot Mary."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/oARCHONo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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Sometimes I wish my name was Joseph King.

Name's Joseph King.
Whenever somebody asks me, "Are you joking?"
I tell 'em, "Yeah."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Soluno
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
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How did mary and Joseph know that jesus weighed 7 pounds and six ounces

They had a weigh in a manger

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/akjohnston87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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What did the Three Magi say after giving Mary and Joseph two of their gifts?

But wait there's Myrrh

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ninjaboi333
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
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If the Third Reich had employed barnyard animals, its top aides to the Farmer would have been Heinrich Hammler and Joseph Gobbles

and they would be fighting Joseph Stallion and Franklin D. Roostervelt.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Yuktobania
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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Russians confused, angered when Joseph Stalin does not star in 'Man of Steel'
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/J_West_of_Wakefield
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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So my dad and I recently found out that the Daughter of Joseph Stalin lived nearby to us when my family moved in.

My dad suggested that we should have gone up to the house, climbed the steps, knocked on the door and asked:

"Hello, is Stalin?"

It still makes me sigh with disbelief that I never saw it coming.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DanCollier
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2015
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Dad: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph were thirsty."

Me: "What? What do you mean?"

Dad: "There was NOEL."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/laughgary
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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Why was the night Jesus was born so quiet?

Mary was giving Joseph the silent treatment for not booking a room in advance (this came from my dad ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/belac2002
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Long story about a tragedy that once happened to me.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mickerallen100
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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At the therapistโ€™s office, I asked my wife, โ€œYou are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, wonโ€™t you?โ€

Her: Yes

Me: I knew it!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jeffersonโ€ฆ He said, โ€œBut dad, your name is Brian.โ€ I said, โ€œI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.โ€
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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There are two types of people in the world.

People who can anticipate what people will say next.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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My wife will probably die a virgin.

Cause I'm a god in bed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nieepie
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Do you know why the Middle Ages are also called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SkyStar1991
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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TIL: Stephen King has a son named Joe. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commenโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gliese_436b
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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A Dad Joke Told By My Mom

My Mother was making chocolate pudding in the kitchen and in the middle of mixing it together when my brother walked in. Actual conversation as follows...

Brother: Hey, mom! Can I lick the bowl when you're done?

Mom: No, Joseph. You can use a toilet brush like the rest of the world.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/K80KABOOM
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, โ€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,โ€ a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, โ€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.โ€ Oscar Levant has added a tag line: โ€œA pun is the lowest form of humorโ€”when you donโ€™t think of it first.โ€ John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: โ€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.โ€

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, โ€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... โ€

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and thoโ€™ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesnโ€™t mean that the punnery isnโ€™t fu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zil2mz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My friend said he wasn't feeling very merry this season...

So I asked him if he was feeling joseph.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LDM312
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
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My In-Laws Went to Salt Lake City...

...They learned a lot of history about Joseph Smith, who apparently had close to 40 wives. They were telling us this, and my mother-in-law said that he once stated that he "thought no more of taking another wife than buying a cow", to which my wife commented "...Wivestock!"

I love her so much.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bocephis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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