Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?

Because, it would blow his cover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 583
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_nameless_one
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungytoaster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/proweld7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone11gone11
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...

...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🀘

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Fact: viagra won’t make you James Bond...

... but it will make you Roger Moore.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FirstHomosapien
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What does James Bond need to go on vacation?

A License to Chill

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimeX13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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A James Bond movie from 1979
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Netcob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

...He goes under cover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedMeToTheFloor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.

I still wonder what he named his other leg.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saosin713
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Son: Dad, why did you name your pet tarantula James Bond?

Dad: Because it’s a Spy Duh!!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedWing_16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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James Randi, RIP

Alright people. Anyone who can perform telekinesis, raise my hand.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dkrainman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Why does James Bond Have grey hair?

Because there's no time to dye!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/19dazza97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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I shared a urinal with some guy named James.

It was a bonding moment.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What do you call it when two spies named james try to become friends?

James bond

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redtiger123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?

I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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James Pond
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πŸ‘€︎ u/petarkefa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Why did James Bond keep his library book?

Because it was Due Another Day

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What is Chicken Little's least favorite James Bond film?

Skyfall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anathex_Adv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What does James Hetfeild call his door when it's open?

A Jar-O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Nice one james
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yesterdaddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is

β€œYou ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wu-Chinese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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I just finished watching James Bond

I was shaken, but not stirred.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justcaleb2001
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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What's James Bond's favorite gas station

007/11

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im9999999999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Drinking vodka martini's won't make you James Bond.

But it'll make you Roger Moore.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theGamingDad123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Does anyone know where I can find a good James?

It’s just a fancy gym.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waxingcresent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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The latest James Bond movie is not getting released in China because of Coronavirus fears.

It’s No Time to Die.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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What do you call James Bond in a jacuzzi?

Bubble-O Seven.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vEnoM_420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Edward James Olmos but not quite.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cssnow52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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What do you call James Bond with no beard ?

Agent Zero Zero Shaven

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rEb0oT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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The names pond, James pond.

I’ve got a license to krill.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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What do you get if you cross James Bond with a blind dinosaur?

Spynosawus.

... I'll just see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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James Bond enjoying himself

What do you call James Bond in a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Llyr508
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call james bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torrenter_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble-07

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerwife2017
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

He goes undercover

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRetadedBanana
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?

He goes undercover

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wumble27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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What does James Bond do in bed?

He goes undercover.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/can_i_get_likes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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VIAGRA: It won't make you James Bond...

But it will make you Roger Moore.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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What does James Bond do before bed?

He goes undercover

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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What do you call James Bond in a Jaccuzi?

Bubble-0 Seven

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/da_dextor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What does James Bond do before bed?

He goes under covers

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragoon990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call James Bond in a jacuzzi?

Bubble-0 Seven.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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