44 Hilarious James Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?

Because it'll blow his cover

👍︎ 9k

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👤︎ u/p_tally

📅︎ Apr 27 2021

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What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?

He goes undercover

👍︎ 464

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👤︎ u/LegAcyCoolBro

📅︎ Apr 26 2021

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Kevin James Franco in his best role yet!

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/FFPOE

📅︎ May 11 2021

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I got a signed LeBron James jersey for my son.

Best trade ever.

👍︎ 18

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👤︎ u/SacredSyrian

📅︎ Apr 14 2021

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

👍︎ 590

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👤︎ u/mr_nameless_one

📅︎ Jan 12 2021

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what would James Bond have if he were a shopkeeper

A license to Till

👍︎ 20

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👤︎ u/sonicblue06

📅︎ Mar 20 2021

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VIAGRA....It won't make you James Bond....

.....but, it would make you Roger Moore.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 24 2021

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Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?

Because it was not agent's toilet.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/BowelMovementator

📅︎ Mar 13 2021

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How does James Bond’s doorbell introduce itself?

Dong. Ding Dong

👍︎ 256

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👤︎ u/hungytoaster

📅︎ Dec 27 2020

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My name is James Pond

https://preview.redd.it/9xul1iqrvuh61.jpg?width=577&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa91d7b8ec2bf5425cbe5c884fccf4de6c658b1e

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/TheRecklesschicken

📅︎ Feb 16 2021

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James is a gentleman

He starts his relationships with a Bond.

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👤︎ u/just1in8bil

📅︎ Feb 26 2021

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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

👍︎ 8k

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👤︎ u/gone11gone11

📅︎ May 06 2020

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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

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👤︎ u/proweld7

📅︎ Oct 09 2020

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A James Bond movie from 1979

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👤︎ u/Netcob

📅︎ Aug 30 2020

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At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...

...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🤘

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Dec 11 2020

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What does James Bond need to go on vacation?

A License to Chill

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/TimeX13

📅︎ Nov 22 2020

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I once met a guy with a wooden leg named James.

I still wonder what he named his other leg.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/Saosin713

📅︎ Oct 17 2020

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Son: Dad, why did you name your pet tarantula James Bond?

Dad: Because it’s a Spy Duh!!

👍︎ 16

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👤︎ u/RedWing_16

📅︎ Oct 21 2020

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James Randi, RIP

Alright people. Anyone who can perform telekinesis, raise my hand.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/dkrainman

📅︎ Oct 23 2020

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I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/vbloke

📅︎ Nov 11 2020

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Why does James Bond Have grey hair?

Because there's no time to dye!

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/19dazza97

📅︎ Oct 05 2020

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What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?

I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jun 15 2020

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James Pond

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👤︎ u/petarkefa

📅︎ Apr 04 2020

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What do you call it when two spies named james try to become friends?

James bond

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Redtiger123

📅︎ Sep 15 2020

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Why did James Bond keep his library book?

Because it was Due Another Day

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

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What is Chicken Little's least favorite James Bond film?

Skyfall

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👤︎ u/Anathex_Adv

📅︎ Jun 07 2020

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Nice one james

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/yesterdaddy

📅︎ Feb 27 2020

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What does James Hetfeild call his door when it's open?

A Jar-O

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/bearnakedgamer

📅︎ Apr 25 2020

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I just finished watching James Bond

I was shaken, but not stirred.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/justcaleb2001

📅︎ May 05 2020

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The first thing I’ll say if Captain James Hook ever get hit by a truck is

“You ain’t seeing half of the insurance money”

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👤︎ u/Wu-Chinese

📅︎ Jun 06 2020

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Drinking vodka martini's won't make you James Bond.

But it'll make you Roger Moore.

👍︎ 14

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👤︎ u/theGamingDad123

📅︎ Feb 04 2020

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What's James Bond's favorite gas station

007/11

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/im9999999999

📅︎ Apr 19 2020

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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed ?

Because, it would blow his cover.

👍︎ 818

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Jan 25 2021

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

👍︎ 17k

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👤︎ u/Life_Uh_Finds_A_Wah

📅︎ Sep 15 2020

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble O 7

👍︎ 89

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👤︎ u/rhshi14

📅︎ Feb 20 2021

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath ?

Bubble O7.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Mar 16 2021

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Why doesn't James Bond fart in bed?

Because it would blow his cover

👍︎ 36

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👤︎ u/oneplusoneisfive

📅︎ Feb 02 2021

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What do you call james bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

👍︎ 38

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👤︎ u/torrenter_11

📅︎ Jan 05 2021

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James Bond enjoying himself

What do you call James Bond in a bath?

Bubble 07

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Llyr508

📅︎ Jan 20 2021

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What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

...He goes under cover.

👍︎ 195

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👤︎ u/FeedMeToTheFloor

📅︎ Aug 19 2020

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Fact: viagra won’t make you James Bond...

... but it will make you Roger Moore.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/FirstHomosapien

📅︎ Nov 28 2020

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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble-07

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/gamerwife2017

📅︎ Sep 21 2020

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What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

He goes undercover

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/TheRetadedBanana

📅︎ Apr 18 2020

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What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?

He goes undercover

👍︎ 135

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👤︎ u/Wumble27

📅︎ Dec 04 2019

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