Jacques Puns

A list of puns related to "Jacques"

I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

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👤︎ u/vbloke
📅︎ Nov 11 2020
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I was about to shoot some pool with my friend Jacques and asked him, “Hey, where is your cue?”

He said, “It’s between the c and the u.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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My dad told me he was named after Jacques Cartier

I said: “but dad, your name’s Pierre!”

And he replied: “I know, but I was named after Jacques Cartier”

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👤︎ u/P4P3RT0W3L
📅︎ Jul 07 2020
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What did Jacques Cousteau say when he first went to sea?

"I have found my porpoise."

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👤︎ u/Fat_Barry
📅︎ May 25 2018
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French people don’t masturbate

They jacques off

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👤︎ u/LordCinko
📅︎ May 06 2021
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What do you call a gay french man?

A faguette.

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👤︎ u/MoondogGLOVER1
📅︎ Feb 14 2021
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What was the name of the janitor at the French marine biology school?

Jacques Custodian

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👤︎ u/Bridgeonjames
📅︎ May 24 2020
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What do you call a half wine/half whiskey mix?

Jacques Daniels

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👤︎ u/wondering-knight
📅︎ Mar 19 2019
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This is just a list of 50 famous people but if they were birds.
  • George Washwington
  • Leonarcrow da Vinci
  • Eagle Allen Poe
  • Harry S. Toucan
  • Teddy Dodosevelt
  • Charles Duckens
  • Octavian Owlgustus
  • Flysaac Newton
  • Benchicken Franklin
  • Gullysses S. Grant
  • Vincent Van Goose
  • John Lhawk
  • Charlecrane
  • Pengthoven
  • Nikquaila Tesla
  • Jean-Jacques Roostsseau
  • Charles Darwren
  • Rheasus Christ
  • Broodha
  • King Loony XIV
  • Nenepoleon Bonaparte
  • Mahootma Gandhi
  • Winstint Churchill
  • Genghis Swan
  • Pladove
  • Aleggsander the Great
  • Paul the Apostail
  • Lark Twain
  • Dante Aliturkey
  • Michelangswallow
  • Cardinal Marx
  • Albatross Lincoln
  • Robin E. Lee
  • Adolf Swiftler
  • Alextanager Hamilton
  • Ibis Presley
  • Ronald Raven
  • Arnestotle
  • Emuhammad
  • Sir Francis Beakon
  • Tchaikovskylark
  • Christfowler Columbus
  • Finchard Nixon
  • Henry VIII
  • Albert Einstork
  • Thomas Jayfferson
  • William Shrikespeare
  • Woodcock Wilson
  • King Chorioles I of England
  • Johann Sebastian Flock

Edit: formatting

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👤︎ u/captbodgers
📅︎ Sep 21 2014
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What do you call athletes in France?

They're called Jacques.

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👤︎ u/DystanceLambda1
📅︎ Sep 20 2018
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Made french toast for dinner and got my husband with this one

Made french toast for dinner and gave my husband his plate.

Him: "Yum, flapjacks!"

Me: "Nope, they're flap-jacques" :)

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👤︎ u/Jxoxo17
📅︎ Jul 28 2017
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I need pesto puns

All I can think of are "dressed to impesto" and "Jacque Pesto", "stop pestoing me"... it's for a pizza

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👤︎ u/PizzaCatSupreme
📅︎ Jul 10 2017
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