*insert Jimmy Neutron title song*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmson420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27
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Why can't sweet Jimmy play downstairs?

He needs to use the stairway to havefun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/busy-idiot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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I was fired from Jimmy Johns because I kept mixing up people’s orders.

Oops, wrong sub.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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LIFE RANT: yesterday was the first day I’ve been outside my house since coronavirus started, I just wanted to get some Jimmy Johns. It’s been 3 months, I ordered a #16 Club Lulu, something seemed off but by the time I got to the car I realized...

Oops, wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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Jimmy Neutron nudes are Jimmy Nuderons

I am very very very sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealXognome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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The teacher asked, "what does the nose fill with?" Jimmy answered, "boogers."

The teacher replied, "good but that's snot the answer I was looking for."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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If Jimmy has 5 apples and he gives 2 to Bob, how many coconuts does he have?

4, you just never asked...

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Jimmy Tallon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UYNICAL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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One day Jimmy gets home from school early.

His mom ask's,"Why are you home so early?"

He answered"Because I was the only one who answered a question correctly."

Well, my son the genius.What was the question?"she continued.

"Whose the little shit that laid the tac down on my chair?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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When Jimmy told me he was going to paint vibrant birds for his art final, I got nervous...

... but he ended up passing with flying colors

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Jimmy Johns delivers?

Girlfriend: Do you think Jimmy Johns would deliver here?

Me: I think his Dad may.

GF: His Dad?

Me: Yeah, Papa John.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Jimmy Dean asked me to update their website, it's pretty easy work:

All I have to do is add a couple links.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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Jimmy Buffett was recently attacked by the remaining members of a defunct New England religion.

It was the Last Shaker Assault.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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I tried to show my kids the Jimmy Hoffa website, but kept getting a malformed HTML exception.

No <Body>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denzien
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2017
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What's my opinion of Jimmy Eat World, you ask?

I'm kinda in the Middle about them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chelseadaggered
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
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Jimmy Carr
  • I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

  • I went up to the airport information desk. I said "How many airports are there in the world?"

  • I hate fat girls who use the excuse "oh the camera adds 10lb" Well, stop eating cameras then.

  • At the check-in desk the girl said, ''Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''Window seat or you'll what? Are you threatening me?''

She said, ''No, calm down. Window seat or aisle?''

l said, ''l'll have a seat.''

  • When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

  • A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said: "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said: "All right, but we won't get much done"

  • Did you know you're ten times more likely to get mugged in London than New York City? Thats because you don't live in New York City.

  • Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikefruitydrinks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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A poorly Jimmy Saddle
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2016
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Dadjoked a customer at Jimmy John's

I was at the cash register, and a guy placed his order. At the end, he asked for "a glass of water." That is, a big cup instead of a little cup. I said, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I can give you a laminated paper of water, though."

He thought it was funny, but he did a great job of hiding it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vulpes-Aurum
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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Jimmy Kimmel masterfully executes a dadjoke youtube.com/watch?v=k7q59…
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
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kid dadjoked jimmy kimmel

interviewer: when's a good time to get married?

kid: in the afternoon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lizardman48
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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