Oops, wrong sub.
I am very very very sorry.
He needs to use the stairway to havefun
Oops, wrong sub
The teacher replied, "good but that's snot the answer I was looking for."
Not all heroes snare crepes.
4, you just never asked...
His mom ask's,"Why are you home so early?"
He answered"Because I was the only one who answered a question correctly."
Well, my son the genius.What was the question?"she continued.
"Whose the little shit that laid the tac down on my chair?"
Girlfriend: Do you think Jimmy Johns would deliver here?
Me: I think his Dad may.
GF: His Dad?
Me: Yeah, Papa John.
... but he ended up passing with flying colors
All I have to do is add a couple links.
It was the Last Shaker Assault.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat
I went up to the airport information desk. I said "How many airports are there in the world?"
I hate fat girls who use the excuse "oh the camera adds 10lb" Well, stop eating cameras then.
At the check-in desk the girl said, ''Window seat or aisle?''
l said, ''Window seat or you'll what? Are you threatening me?''
She said, ''No, calm down. Window seat or aisle?''
l said, ''l'll have a seat.''
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said: "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said: "All right, but we won't get much done"
Did you know you're ten times more likely to get mugged in London than New York City? Thats because you don't live in New York City.
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray.
I was at the cash register, and a guy placed his order. At the end, he asked for "a glass of water." That is, a big cup instead of a little cup. I said, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I can give you a laminated paper of water, though."
He thought it was funny, but he did a great job of hiding it.